Child Abuse Story From SB

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Child Abuse Story From SB

by SB
(Location Undisclosed)

Her Life is Her Reality:
First off I wasn't supposed to be born for my mother had crones disease and pancreas problems. My dad and mother constantly fighting , dad always out drinking. when i was 2 my dad left, and at 4 they divorced. My mom had custody of me and my older sister. We moved allot and her first boyfriend who used to beat me with a rubber hose if i even looked at him the wrong way. He would beat my sister, his two kids and the dog. my mother moved on to another guy, he was nice when you first met him but living with him is completely different. He would constantly beat my mother and hit me and my sister. My mom was on allot of different medicine, she would constantly over dose ( My sister, her baby, and me are the only sober ones in my blood line at the moment)because of my mothers pill addiction she was in the hospital, extremely ill.. Almost dead. for about when i was around 2 as well my mom went into a three month coma. and around 5 my grandma tried stealing me and my sister away from my mother purposely to ruin her life. My grandma is a alcoholic who used to have fits all the time. When i was around 9 i remember my mom chasing me and my sister around with a butcher knife trying to kill us. I remember crying for days thinking i am going to die any day when i was only 8 years old but that wasn't anything new. The policemen became family at this point in my life, coming over almost every other day. My mother's first boyfriend was a police officer which gave me a extreme fear of cops. After years of feeling nothing but pain, bruises and fear when i was 9 my dad got custody of me, before he got us my mom manipulated me and my sister that he didn't want anything to do with us. I was forced to grow up at a young age, because my sister didn't want anything to do with me, id constantly run away thinking that it would solve all my problems, but every-time i would just run back. The first couple of years living with my dad he was never home my stepmom didn't care about me nor my sister. When my dad was home all we would do was fight. Im 15 now, its been a while with my dad , but all good things must come to a end. I plan on moving back with my mom so my sister can move out away from my mom because i refuse to let her baby grow up seeing and experiencing all the abuse and pain i we went through. If it means that Im just spend the rest of my teenage-hood with my mother and leave all my friend just to insure that my sisters child grows up good then so be it because no-one should experience it and my sisters child still has a chance to be in a family, not a house. Home is were you should feel safe and happy. Leaving home is going to be the hardest thing i will ever do, going back to my ill abusive mother who pays rent by drug dealing now, i will have to get a job to support her and help with everything but its going to be worth it. The reason i have to live with her is because if she lives alone she will kill herself and i couldn't live without a mother when i need her the most. Theres more, but this is all i am going to type to prevent anyone in my family being token away. I appreciate my past, Im not glad about it but its what made ma a amazing person i am today and Im proud of me, not my parents but me. Its only My sister, Her baby and myself. There is no family anymore. Im only one person against the whole world, but theres people with worse lives so I live each day as good as i can incase its my last.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From SB

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Jan 11, 2012

SB:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm going to be very honest with you. At fifteen years of age, you are not in a position to be able to take care of all the people in your family. You just aren't, much as you want to be. Your sister's child may well benefit from having you in her life, but given you are not this child's mother, there are extreme limits to what you can offer. As for needing a mother in your life as being one of the reasons you are going back, she isn't a mother in your life and never will be. You are holding onto a dream, a dream that your mother cannot fulfill. Your mother is deeply damaged, likely from her own abusive childhood. She needs a great deal of professional help, but you can't give her the help she needs. Trying to provide your mother with what she needs will be your demise. But most importantly, YOU need help, SB. Please contact one of the hotlines listed on my stories page, depending on where you live, in order to talk to someone confidentially. Yes, you've had to grow up fast. But that doesn't mean that you can handle what you've decided is your lot in life. Whether you realize it or not, your youth, your vulnerabilities and your inexperience put you at risk for continuing the cycle of abuse even though you don't believe you ever will. Very few people go into such situations with the idea that they're going to be abusive. Reach for help, SB. You can't do this alone. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 12, 2012

There is help
by: Rita M

Hi SB,
I have read your story and it sounds like you have had an aweful hard start in life.Your mother
and father hurt you.Your sister has a child.You are not old enough to be a mother.There are services out there that can provide help for you.
I know you want to look after your mother but you are way too young.You need help to release all your hurts and grow before you can help your mother and your sisters child.While you are getting help go back to school and be with the teens that you can relate to in sports and get
your school grades up where they should be.You can
call Childrens services where you are and ask for advice for yourself and just open up and be honest.Don't keep it in side.You must release it all.It takes time but you need to get it out.It helps you to regain your senses of health and energy and happiness.If you keep it in you will
hurt longer for no reason.Don't deny yourself of help.That is what it's for.When you start this the key thing is never give up.Your mother Im sure
would like it if you could heal.Showing her love is getting help for her.There are alot of free services.Just ask for all what you need.Help yourself first before you help others.Age 15 is when you need to find some healthy thinking teens
that love sports or other healthy things.It is work but it is worth it.Healing isn't always painful I found it to be fun too.Take the first step and NEVER QUIT OR GIVE UP.Life is worth it.

Jan 12, 2012

use this time to get ready to fly.
by: Jill

SB,
Like your mom, my birth mom (I don't call her mom anymore) has had Crohn's since I was born. She blames me for this, though I know it was there long before. She almost died when I was 6 and was psychologically never the same. I had to grow up fast and take on an adult role I was never meant to have. I became the parent in my family, but they held the purse strings over my head. This is a terribly dysfunctional role for a child. She used her power to abuse me and allowed my family and her friends to abuse me too. It was all a secret. I wasn't told she had Chrone's till I was 17 and about to graduate.

I had never known what a loving relationship was in my family. I created a fantasy to help me survive; that if I tried hard enough, someday she would understand. No matter how awful she was, I kept going back. My birth dad (don't call him dad anymore) even encouraged me to do this when they were divorced. Now I see he did it to keep her away from him. When my kids were little, she started acting strange w/them and kidnapping my son. Her new husband wanted to see more of my daughter. I was watching my son lead her around a mall when I had a major awakening, I'd been here before and I had to get my kids away from these people - now!!! I haven't seen them since and a few years afterward my memories came flooding back. She was later diagnosed w/Pernicious Anemia (related to Chrone's) and it became apparent that she'd developed this shortly after I was 6. With that has come a slow form of dementia, which she clearly suffers from though she doesn't want to admit it because she can still function enough to run her life.

I look back to when I was 17 and know that it was the time where I should have left her far behind. She was and is a very psychologically ill person and I can't do anything about that. She's a master at turning everything around to make her unhealthy behavior look healthy and others' healthy behavior look unhealthy. I saved myself by moving away turning my life around, and it's up to other family members to save themselves and their children.

At 15, you're in a place where saving yourself is the very best thing you can do. I know you care about your sister's baby safety, but legally there's nothing you can do. It's up to your sister to decide to get away from her. Moving back in w/ your mom would remove any power in your life you have right now. It's a fantasy to think you could protect a baby when you are 15 and you have no rights to do so in your mother's home. Understanding with the help of others outside your family (counselors, social workers, etc...) what is going on with the dynamics in your mom, sister and dad's lives will give you the power to make healthy changes in your own life that will help you become the person you want to be who makes a difference as you become a legal adult. You only have 3 years to go til you're 18, use this time to get ready to fly and you will!

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