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Child Abuse Story From Sarah1

by Sarah
(Chicago, Illinois, USA)

What I'm Going Through: 
]I live in a home where physical and emotional abuse are as normal as breathing. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not told that I'm worthless and a piece of shit. There isn't a month that goes by where I'm not hit and beaten up.

I just turned 16 exactly a week ago. I'm not beaten up as much as before, but it's still abuse. I've grown up where hitting your kid and wife to me seemed normal. My dad always slapped me and hit me with his shoe and belt. As long as he didn't hit me in the face with an object it was good to him.

My mom also had her share with me. I remember when I was 13. She got on my back and stomped on it. I couldn't walk for a couple of days. Writing all these things down is bringing tears to my eyes.

Just today, I was sitting down in my room and my dad walked in and said, "You tell strangers you want to ruin our lives on purpose" and he started pushing me around the room and pulled my hair.

I've thought about committing suicide many times and about running away, but I have nowhere to go and nobody to turn to. The memories that this is bringing to me is horrible and I cannot continue writing anymore. Please pray for me. In two more years I will move out. My mother just asked me why I'm crying since this whole thing is my fault. Please pray for me. I would love nothing more than to move out of here. Two more years that I cannot wait for.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Sarah1" can be found at Comments below.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Sarah1

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Jun 14, 2008
 You don't want to die, Sarah; you want to be out of pain...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Sarah, there are people willing to help you, but you have to make the call. You have to decide that you are worth making the call. And you ARE worth it. You are NOT worthless. You are precious and deserving of love and support. I urge you to contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, but they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse.

And Sarah, allow me to extend you a belated and heartfelt Happy 16th Birthday.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Jun 14, 2008
 I know the feeling!
by: Anonymous

Hey, I feel for you. I have been abused by my mother. I thought it was normal, everyday life. I deserved it cause I was bad. I learned. I used to want to run away but I had no where to go so when I came back I would just be badly in trouble. I attempted suicide and wish that I could die all the time. This website along with my friend have helped me to over come some of that. I finally told and I am getting out soon. I am scared and I feel alone but I know everything will work out ok in the end. I try to have faith its hard. I doubt myself alot. Don't worry you are worth it and people care. I have a friend and a father who cares for me. My heart goes out for you!!!Take care and getting out is worth it.
http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/child-abuse-story-from-name-undisclosed3.html
Jun 14, 2008
 you need help,NOW!
by: pamela

Sarah I would NOT wait the two yrs,before getting out!What if your parents hurt you badly enough to kill you or seriouly injure you?You need to believe people who tell you what your parents did was wrong and that their is help avalible to you!your parents are THE ONES NOT DESERVING OF SOMEONE LIKE YOU.Maybe one day they will come around and say they are sorry for all they have put you through,maybe not,but either way your life is worth living for so please get help..get out of their fast as you can!Your parents have a lot to be sorry for and that goes for ANYONE PARENT,FAMILY OR FAMILY FRIENDS WHO ABUSE CHILDREN,THEY ARE THE ONES WHO NEED TO RELISE WHAT THEY DO IS WRONG!BUT UNTIL THEY DO,YOU NEED TO GET TO A PHONE EVEN IF IT IS A PAY PHONE OR FRIENDS PHONE AND CALL THE CHILD HELP LINE..
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND I WISH YOU WELL WITH YOUR LIFE..

SUICIDE IS A PERMENATE SIT AND CANNOT BE CHANGED,THEIR ARE NO SECOND CHANCES ONCE YOU KILL YOUR SELF,WERE IF YOU GET HELP AND LIVE TO GO ON TO COLLEGE GET A DEGREE YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SIT AS A WAY TO HELP OTHERS WHO FACE THE SAME THINGS AS YOU.MAYBE EVEN SHOW YOUR PARENTS THAT YOU WERE WORTHY AND DID BECOME SOMETHING GOOD.SUICIDE ONLY LET'S YOUR PARENTS WIN!YOU CANNOT MUST NOT DO THAT!
Jun 15, 2008
 Words are not enough...
by: Linda Settles

Sarah, nothing I can say could possibly express how much I feel for you. I was in your place many years ago and I am glad that I did not give in to my suicidal thoughts. I agree with all the other postings in response to your comments--you don't need to wait. Two years is like an eternity when you are going through the kind of abuse that you are taking. Call the number Darlene gave you. Talk to someone. And never, never, lose hope. Life can be wonderful. Memories can heal. All of us here care about you. Please get help and write again to let us know how you are doing. You are in our prayers.
Jun 16, 2008
 thank you
by: sarah

thank you so much for your care and prayers..im considering calling the number just to have someone to talk to about my problems.This is the first time i have shared my problems with anyone and i feel accepted thank you. I have always put on a happy face so that no one knows what im going through. I know I will not commit suicide, i dream of a bright future and i wil not let my parents stop me from living it. Thank you everyone for commenting and for the advice..I assure you I will call for help but I cannot say that I will get out before my two years my mother is pregnant and I have to take care of my younger sister [ who also gets hit but not a lot] and help around the house since my mother isn't capable of a lot. please once again keep me in your prayers.
thank you.
Jun 17, 2008
 stop the cycle!!
by: Anonymous

Your story is amazing Sarah. I grew up in a home like yours with the sister and the hole nine yards. That's great that you watch out for your sister, but who watches out for you? I know what your going through sarah. EXACTLY WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH!!!!!!
your parent's don't see you as an individual. they see you as a thing. By staying in there house they win!!!!!!!!!! Trust me on this. I did the same thing i waited to move out to get away from my hell. I sacrificed my safety and self worth to keep my sister safe and let my fear consume me. LOVE IS AN ACTION WORD SARAH. IF YOU LOVE YOUR SIBLING AS MUCH AS YOU SAY, MAKE THAT SACRIFICE GET HELP. You did nothing wrong, there the one's that will deal with the outcomes of the law. Sarah, do you like KORN the band? cause if you do they have this great song called children of the korn. It's on the cd follow the leader. that song always gets me pumped,cause the abused are the children of the korn. Regarding suicide, you do that and you condem yourself to a cage of sorrow. Not to mention they win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When i was 16 years old i wrote my suicide note and got ready to slit my own wrists. As i got ready to do so this overbaring feeling of guilt came over me. My two year old sister needing me and me not being around anymore made me change my mind. So again Sarah love is an action word. Don't let anyone control you by fear,seek help now!!!!!! happy birthday by the way!!!!
Nov 07, 2008
 Help your sister :)
by: Anonymous

Hey Sarah,
You said that you were staying for your sister? What if you could get you and your sister to a nice place? What if you could help her live in a house where the beatings and abuse aren't 'normal'? Wouldn't that be a much better way for you both to live? I strongly urge you to report what is happening, give your sister a voice, you both deserve better.
You shouldn't have to look after your mother and do the housework, that's not your role. You are the child (teenager) not the parent.
Please let us know how things are going for you...
We do care :)

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