Child Abuse Story From Sarah M
by Sarah M.
(Washington, DC, USA)
I don't know if I qualify as being a child abuse survivor - it started when I was about 13 years old. It continued in different ways into my teens and adulthood.
The first time was being raped by a bus driver who I thought was being kind by driving me home late at night. Another event was being raped by a school mate when I was 16 - and the abuse kept occurring. I didn't fight back because I thought if I let men use me, maybe they would like me. I gained a lot of weight - to protect myself, as I learned later. I can't remember how many times a man or a boy my own age would use me for sex. There were also violent events where I didn't think I would live to get away.
My family never was aware of these things. My parents were involved with their own lives - it was the early 80's and the personal growth movement was very big - my mother was extremely involved in it. She and my father both did drugs. They certainly weren't aware of what was going on with me.
When I was 16, I hitchhiked to Florida and to California several times. There were several sexual events - I had no one to protect me - I remember that I was told that if I wanted to live, I'd do what I was told - and act like I liked it too.
The sexual attacks continued into my later teen years and adulthood. I became grossly overweight and have continued to be large.
I'd like to get over the horror and pain and shame of this, but it tends to overwhelm most therapists that I've gone to.
Thanks for reading.
-Sarah
Washington, DC
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