Child Abuse Story From Sara
by Sara
well....I don´t even know where to start.....(I´m from Argentina so I apologize for any mistakes I can make by writing in English).....when I was 14 years old my parents had to sell the apartment in which we were living and decided to move to another city because of work. As I was in the 2nd year of high school I had to stay in the same city for some months to finish the academic year. So, I had to stay with my grandfather - my father´s father- alone in his house. I don´t remember clearly how it all started but I do remember him coming at night to the sofa where I was sleeping and trying to touch me. If I tried to get him away or push him, he would hold both my hands and prevent me from moving and touched me as he liked and kissed all my body. I didn´t shout or cry or did anything, my body was there for him but my head was somewhere else- like in a parallel world... I hated him, i hated me for allowing him to do that but I was terrified he would do something worse. Then, one day he turned me over and I just remember myself crying and telling him it hurt and begging him to stop but he wouldn´t. he was penetrating me......he did that more than once but I honestly can´t even remember how many times or how often, I just remember the pain.....I felt so so hurt and bad and dirty that I jsut tried to forget all that, especially this last part. Fortunately, after living with him for some months I finally finished the school year and moved with my mom.he then died a few years later and i felt relieved....anyway, I haven´t told this to anyone for 14 years. I lived half my life with this awful secret!!! i suffered many consequences for this abuse: I have anorexia/bulimia cause I hate my body, I have post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, I self injured, I have many difficulties and fears whenever i have sex with someone- luckily, i have a boyfriend I really love but i still can´t enjoy having sex with him..... A few months ago I started a new treatment - I have recovered and relapsed many many times- for my eating disorders and for the first time in my life I was able to tell my psychiatrist about this abuse. It was really hard but I am finally starting to heal myself and began my true recovery from both the abuse and the EDs. I could also trust my boyfriend and told him about this and he is being so supportive and caring that he´s helping me feel better about myself! I believe that my healing process will be hard and long but I really want to get past all over this; until now I had only wanted to forget about this part of my life but that wasn´t possible and I was just killing myself....  Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:  Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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