Child Abuse Story From Sal
by Sal
(USA)
Sexual Abuse Story From My Closet:
Today I want to rid myself of a part of my story that I don't feel brave enough to share anywhere else. I can't take it anymore. I don't sleep. I find myself causing suffering for anyone around me because I am so angry all the time. I am faking being a wife and a mother. Parts of it I enjoy, but until I heal the craters of pain, I am much like a dormant volcano; when it erupts it will be chaos and destruction for all who are trying to love me.
At about 6 years old, maybe, a cousin decided to fondle his curiosity, me. Then maybe a couple of years later, an adopted uncle (only a few years my senior) did the same. I think this was practice, or maybe like a toe in the water, for what I would face just a year later.
A man came into my mother's life who would destroy my world. He started as a worker in our home. He spent his mornings feeling me, literally. His hand would find its way into my underwear and then inside me. I would pretend to be asleep. It never worked. Pretty soon he was telling me that if he had to take my mom along he would to be with me. It was unreal. I didn't understand it.
But then again, for the first time in my life someone was paying attention to me. My mom had always treated me with indifference. This attention was new.
It went on to become severe sexual, emotional, physical and mental abuse. At 16 I had been raped and used daily for 7 straight years. When I told my mom, she abandoned me. It was my fault, it didn't happen, I was lying. My dad couldn't take me, so I was a foster care child. I went into the next part of my life, pretending that I was okay; and that is where I am today. Still pretending.
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