Home
Sitemap
My Blog
Child Abuse Stories
My Story
Child Abuse News
Write a Commentary
The Lighter Side
Awakening
OpenSpace
Statistics
C/A History
Emotional Abuse
      Types of E.A.
      Signs of E.A.
       Effects of E.A.
         - Bullying
      Stats for E.A.
Physical Abuse
     Signs of P.A.
      Abuse/Dis'pln
      Effects of P.A.
     Stats for P.A.
Child Neglect
     Signs of C.N.
      Effects of C.N.
     Stats for C.N.
      Poverty & C.N.
Sexual Abuse
      Definition S.A.
     Signs of S.A.
      Effects of S.A.
     Stats of S.A.
Sexual Abuse Victims
   Male Victims
     Female Victims
     V w/ Disability
  Disclosures
Sex Offenders
  Male S.O.
    Female S.O.
  Child S.O.
   Youth S.O.
   Incest S.O.
     Internet S.O.
Child Abuse Law
      Age-Majority
     Duty-Report
Intervention
Prevention
Stories of Healing
Exch w/ an Abuser
Visitor Comments
Letters from Readers
Link to this Site
Resources
FREE E-zine
Ask Darlene
Dating Violence
Privacy Policy
Site Search
[?] Subscribe To This Site

XML RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Child Abuse Story From Rose

by Rosella
(Pensacola, Florida, USA)




I was not the one abused, but it was my niece. Here is the story very brief. I grew up with a brother and a sister, and I was the oldest. My mother has always favored my sister which is the middle child. She always has helped my sister but when it came to me I was left to fend for myself.

My mother suffered a stroke about five years ago and now I am here living with her and taking care of her. My sister has stolen from my mother (her social security check) and has taken from everyone in the family. I'm just trying to give a little background to bring you all up to the present.

Last week, my sister was fussing with my niece about something I consider minor. Anyway, my sister took an iron bedpost and beat my niece in the face, on her arms and hands. Then she took my niece and dropped her off with all her clothes over here at my mother's house. My mother has a tiny three bedroom, and my niece is now sleeping on the couch. When I saw my niece she had all kinds of bruises on her hand, face, and arms. When her dad found out he went to the police with his daughter to report my sister. My niece texted me and said that she was scared. I told her do you need me to come down there and sit with you. She said yes. When she finally gave her story, my sister ended up going to jail for battery because my neice is 18 years old and considered an adult. To make a long story short, she ended up dropping the charges on her mother, and now my mother and sister are mad at me, thinking I manipulated my niece into putting her mother in jail. They actually were talking about putting a lawsuit on me. My mother has not even spoken about the fact that my sister beat her child with a bed post! Now my sister is not speaking to me and my mother is not really talking to me. That's my story. I am 43 and my sister is 40.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Rose" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.




Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Rose

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 27, 2008
Your niece...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Rose, your 18-year-old niece must be dealing with a great deal of turmoil and emotional trauma right now. Her mother beat her with a metal bed post; imagine her terror when the woman who was supposed to love and protect and nurture and care for her was instead busting her up with a weapon that could do serious damage, and maybe even kill her. And then, imagine the betrayal and abandonment when she was dropped off, clothes and all, as if she were the trash, unworthy of love and a home.

And then imagine your niece's fear when her father, the man who wasn't there to protect her, hauled her in to the police station to make a report for child abuse, only to be faced with being treated as an adult even though she is still really a child.

And then imagine the nausea and shaking at having to "betray" her own mother by making a statement that ultimately put her mother in jail for battery. And imagine how confusing it was for her to have her father standing beside her, encouraging her to file those charges.

Imagine the fear and trepidation of all of that at 18 years old, and then imagine how she must be feeling as she watches the women in her life pitted in a twisted game of blame and finger pointing when all she wants is to be comforted and hugged and told how much she's loved and wanted.

Rose, you were there for your niece when she needed you the most; you can be very proud of that. Now you must be there for her in the capacity that she needs you: in support, encouragement and as the adult she needs you to be. I don't believe your sister and your mother have grounds for a lawsuit, but if that concerns you, I suggest you contact an attorney.

Part 2: Perhaps it's time for a change... is below.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Dec 27, 2008
Part 2: Perhaps it's time for a change...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You've been a very good daughter by caring for your mother, Rose. You've done your duty and you can be very proud of that; and now the time may have come for you to physically separate yourself from your mother. The time may have come for you to move out and live on your own again. And the time may have come for you to put distance between you and your sister. If this competition between you and your sister for your mother's love continues, your niece will continue to pay the price.

With all due respect, Rose, you ARE 43 years old; if you allow yourself to be further dragged into the game your 40-year-old sister and aging mother have drawn you into, then you all may as well be in kindergarten. As harsh as that may sound, you need to hear it because that isn't what your niece needs. She needs someone in her life to be strong and grown up. She needs a role model, someone who won't get wrapped up in mind games; someone with a clear head; someone who won't EVER talk badly about her mother or grandmother. In other words, Rose, you. Gain strength in the knowledge that you are responding in a mature and healthy way. Modeling that kind of behaviour is one of the healthiest things you can do for your niece, even if she doesn't yet recognize it as healthy. After all, she has 18 years of dysfunction to re-program in herself.

And, Rose, when you need support, turn to someone you can trust, someone who will lend an ear and a hug when you need it, someone other than your mother or your sister or your niece.

Thank you for sharing your story and your niece's story with my visitors and me. I wish you and your niece all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Dec 28, 2008
I can see such a caring aunt in you...
by: Francine

Rose, I am sorry about your niece. I am also sorry that your mom wouldn't care about you as a kid (although you have to take care of her today). You see, my uncle had witnessed my mom bullying me only a few times and tried to stop her from bullying me. I hope you and your niece try counselling cuz you are both worth the help that you and your niece deserve. Hang on!

Dec 28, 2008
you did a good thing....
by: touched2mysoul

Dont worry about your mother and her anger... you did the right thing and a good thing by supporting your neice. Someone needs to speak up for those that cant speak up for themselves... i applaud what you did... i also encourage you to stand up for yourself... your mother and sister... if they cant see that what happened was wrong.. the issue is with them not u...

Dec 28, 2008
Thanks
by: Rosella

Thanks so much for your input Darlene. You made a lot of sense. I do need to separate myself from my mother and my sister. The other day when I was home, my sister came by and I spoke to her and she would not even speak to me. My mother doesn't say anything to her about that and they talk two and three times a day and my mother hardly has two words to say to me at all. Thanks again, your comment has made me re-evaluate my life and I have considered moving on with my life and separating myself from my mother and my sister!

Click here to add your own comments