Child Abuse Story From Rita J

by Rita J.
(Washington, USA)

I come from a family of eight. I have an older brother and four younger sisters. Pedophiles, incest, sexual abuse, sexual harassment, violent verbal abuse, and violent physical abuse ran rampant in our house growing up.

My introduction into sexual abuse began at age five in the form of touch, molestation, inflicted upon me by my father. While it was taking place, my mom stood by the dresser in her room where we were and watched. I know this because I remember looking into her eyes for help, but I got none. She said nothing, she did nothing, and so it continued on. My father sexually harassed me on a daily basis. My mom heard it all and had no response.

My uncle was a severe pedophile, and everyone knew it. It became so important for my parents to get out and away from us kids that it became unimportant where we were left and with whom. At the age of six I was introduced to sex by rape. Because of my mom's denial about her brother, I was molested and raped repeatedly from age six to twelve.

My mother's way of dealing with me and what she witnessed, was to abandon me as a mother. Sure, I had hot meals and clean clothes, but no hugs, kisses, and no love. She also chose to blame me for the sexual abuse and with that came resentment and hate. With that hate my mom beat me, pulled my hair, beat my bones with metal coffee cans, threw me stomach first into barbed wire fencing, and so on. If I were to complain at all in front of anyone, she threatened to splatter my head all over the place. She threatened to make me drink urine, made me steal newspapers for her from the grocery store. My mom has carried the resentment and hatred toward me to this day.

This year I confronted her, not for my father and uncle's actions inflicted upon me, but her part in it all. To me, she is just as much of a pedophile as they were. My mom denies to everyone that anything ever happened. She says I am telling and spreading lies about a very respectable and upstanding man (my dad). She and my sisters have put together a file of e-mails, letters, and contact from me. They all plan to file a lawsuit for slander and harassment against me.

In the process of shedding the blame, shame, and self hatred from myself and finding some peace, I have lost my family. Not one sibling will stand up with me; they are standing with my mother. I need closure, but do not know how to get closure when I am still being blamed, made out to be a liar, and hated by her and the rest of who I thought to be my family.

I would like to contact the lady who authored the book Ugly. She and I have similar circumstances. She spoke up against her mother and won a court case when her mother sued her for slander.

Thank you.

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