Child Abuse Story From Rissa
by Rissa
I just have to get this out,It's making go crazy, When i was about 4 or 5,my momma had a friend,we'll call Uncle J, he watched me and my brother,who was maybe 7 or 8, while my mom was working,or partying,he was great to my brother and me,he had games,and toys,and cartoons, but he always paid more attention to me. a "game" he called it..he'd take me to his room,into his closet,and expose himself to me,or,tell me to touch his privates..He told me i couldn't tell anybody,that it was our game, It went on for a few months,then,once,my mom walked in on us..at least,i think that happend,i remember screaming,and police..and hugs..and no more Uncle J..i tried hard to forget this..but it came back. My mother has never been in my life,really,she wanted to party, One man in my neighborhood,was especially friendly to me,he'd give me money,or soda,or an old toy,he said i reminded him of his daughter in mexico..i was looking for a friend,due to family problems,i was around 8,and my step-father would fight with my mother,and she'd leave,he'd take his anger ot on me..hitting me,or smacking me..anyway,my mom left me with a friend one night,and i was in a room upstairs minding my own buisness,the man who i thought was my friend,came in,and say on the bed,he was rubbing my leg,and telling me i was pretty,i liked the attention..but,then,he started rubbing between my legs..and taking his clothes off,i wanted to scream "stop" but,no sound would come out. he got on top of me and raped me for what seemed like hours..calling me "pretty angel" and "my little lover" i was sweaty,and wanted my mother,i was terrified..he finally left me there,bloody,crying,and sweaty,and before he left,he called me a "sl*t" and handed me 10 dollars. I never told my mother,becuase she seemed happy there,she had a job, a husband, us kids were healthy..i kept thhese things secret for 5 going on 6 six years. i'm 13 now,and have cut myself becuase these things have happend. Sometimes,when i remember,i feel useless,and dirty. like a sl*t..i tell myself i'm not..but his voice rings back..and i want to cut,and i cry at night,thinking of it,i've been clean for a while,and only told my therapist about when i was 8. I don't know how to escape my memories..i just want to forget,but no matter how hard i try..it's always there. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest  Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:  Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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