Child Abuse Story From Red1

by Red
(USA)

Dysfunction: 
I'm new at this and I don't like people judging me so I'm using a fake name, sorry. My story starts out when I was born. I have always been the odd ball in my family. My parents beat me from the time I was a baby. My father, as well as my mother's other boyfriends, used to physically and sexually abuse me.

When I was 3 years old my mother and father went to buy drugs and left me and my brothers and sisters at home. The police caught them and my mother then had the nerve to say that her kids were at home and she had to take care of them. The police came to our house and found my brothers and sisters playing outside in a creek. They found me in my crib in a diaper that hadn't been changed in days. I spent 4 weeks in a hospital recovering. That's not where my story ends though.

My siblings and I were placed in foster care. When I turned 4 years old, a couple came to see about adopting us. I thought I was free. Little did I know my hell was about to happen again.

They wound up taking us for a weekend visit. I was playing tag with my new little brother when I ran out the back door and shut it so that I could get a head start. I heard a loud screaming. When I ran out the door and shut it there was a nail sticking out and went right through my brother's lip. My new father picked me up by the neck and shook me and kept screaming, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY SON!" And then he beat the crap out of me. They took us back the same day. I thought that they would never adopt us and that I was a bad person. I didn't mean to do it, I swear! I would never hurt anyone!

A few months after the accident happened, they wound up adopting us. About 6 months after that, my father started sexually abusing me. It happened every day, a lot of the time two to three times a day. He would tell me that nobody would believe me and that if I did tell then I would be taken away and I would never see my family. The majority of the time he would just beat me till I couldn't stand.

My mother was no saint. She loved making fun of me. She would call me a slut and make me stand in the corner until I passed out or until she felt I was ready to sleep. There were many times that I would wet myself because she wouldn't let me use the bathroom.

She wouldn't let me eat with the rest of the family. I was an outsider in my own home, if you can even call it a home. There were days when I would go without eating because my mom would say that I had done something that I really didn't do. I hated them! I just wanted to die. I would steal food from my own home because I would get so hungry, and when I couldn't do that because she would count the food, I would eat paper.

When I was 7 years old my family was outside swimming in the pool. My father took me inside and put me on the bed and raped me. I tried to get away. He grabbed me at the waist and slammed my head against the headboard. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, begging him to please stop. He wouldn't. All he did was laugh at me. The real shitty (sorry about the language) part is that when he was doing that, my mom walked in on us. She just stood there for a minute looking at me with these eyes that said, "How could you" then she walked out! How can a parent do that????!!!

The abuse continued for years. When I finally got up the courage to tell, I told my mom that I was through and I didn't care what happened to me anymore. I just wanted it to stop. She beat the crap out of me! She told me that I liked it and that I seduced him. Then what she said next made me want to puke. She said she didn't care that he was raping me because it helped them in bed!!!???? I wanted to kill myself!

Days later when I was allowed to go back to school I told my counselor. We were taken to a safe place in our community. When it came time for court, my mother paid for his attorney. He got 3 months in jail!!!! 3 months!! My mom told everyone that I was too scared to testify. What a lie!!!! With my father out of the picture, my mom used it to her advantage. She would make everyone feel sorry for her. During court-ordered therapy she told the therapist that I made him do it because I used to hang all over him. The therapist said, "Yes children her age do that and then the parents suffer." I hate her too!

I was still in the custody of my mother after my father was put in jail. Her abuse kept going. I tried to commit suicide many times before I escaped her hellhole. She put me in mental hospitals after mental hospitals. I didn't mind them because I wasn't living at home and I didn't have to be subjected to her abuse anymore.

When I turned 16 years old I decided to go to a military academy. I loved it there. It was a family to me. I graduated and began my life.

I have had a hard time but I'm hanging in. I can't get rid of the nightmares or the flashbacks. I will have them when I'm working, in classes, everywhere.

This is the first time I have told my story. I find that when you're writing things down it's better than talking about them because people can't stare at you or ask questions. I hope that this story doesn't offend anyone. It feels good to let it out. Thanks for listening.

Note from Darlene: I regret that I can no longer continue the practice of commenting on visitor submissions to the degree I have in the past, as I am currently writing a book on healing from child abuse. I ask that you please read my post of June 24, 2009 titled Announcement Regarding my Comments for a complete explanation. I welcome you to follow my progress on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I do hope to hear from you there.

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