Child Abuse Story From Ray1

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Child Abuse Story From Ray1

by Ray
(Seattle, Washington, USA )

I was an international student from an Asian country. I went to a community college in Washington when I was 16 years old. It was my second year in United States. As a lot of international student do, I stayed with a Filipino family for 6 months. I don't know why I stayed that long. They were a family from the college, they were nice at first, and things seemed to be at the right place. Then they never respected me anymore, ever since I was mugged.

My boyfriend was injured, and instead they call me a whore. I still try to understand the reasons why and stayed there. But then, things got to be worse. They never respect my privacy, complained when I ate my meal (I ate regular-sized meal), and tell me to find somewhere else to stay because they will be going to California. They neglected me, really.

I tried to complain to the college about it, but they think it was normal, and most of the people that I meet in that town was telling me, that this is okay.

After I had a fight with the father, I decided to leave.

This time I moved to a family that does not come from the college. Since I figured that they did not care about me and just kicked me out of the office.

This family was really dysfunctional. I lived with a married couple. They slept in a different bedroom, but I did not care, because I thought, it is what they prefer. Things were quite okay, until I have to fight my trauma from the first family and started seeing a counselor.

This family neglected me, and I did not realize that because I was so innocent. My bedroom was in a room beside my host mother's room. She keeps complaining about me making sound of a "living human" really. She is jobless, can't speak English well, and she is lazy. She wakes up around in the middle of the day. It was very difficult for me to even get ready to go to school or to use the bathroom because I have to hold my breath or tip-toe.

Long story-short, this is getting really hard for me to write this down. I was 17 at the time it happened. That insane lady is getting really insane and when I ask help from my host dad, instead of helping me, he threaten that he is going to kicked me out. He keeps repeating "No more sound, no more sound".

She humiliated me once, when I asked for help because I could not reach the food at the table. She yelled and told me to get up and get the food myself.

Then I wanted to leave the house, but they d to me and ask me to give them one more chance, especially him.

Things were a little better at first, but she started to lock the bathroom, telling me not to sit on my bed.

It was terrifying. Then I was kicked out because I made too much noise from my sore-throat.

It was really hard for me, after I was guided by good adults like my parents and having to face the fact that I could not trust anyone else.

I would really like to have these people justified. It is a really scary fact that everyone thinks it is okay to treat me like that, it means everyone don't know how to live a good life and treat others well.

Thank you

-ray

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Child Abuse Story From Ray1

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Dec 30, 2008

A seemingly uncaring system...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You're right, Ray: it was NOT okay for you to be mistreated. Being called a whore is completely unacceptable under any circumstances. And while you have a right to privacy, that right does not exist under all circumstances. You said you talked to the people at the college and they dismissed your complaint. You didn't say how long ago this happened, but perhaps you can still file a complaint further up in the administration. While you might not get any justice for yourself, I would think that such a complaint would be taken into account when determining whether or not this family would be allowed to host another student.

As for getting justice, which is what I think you are trying to say above, I wouldn't count on that. Prosecuting a family for what you believe is neglect is next to impossible, unless the neglect is extreme and it can be proven to be extreme. What you've described does not fit into this category.

I don't know if you are still in the student exchange system, but just understand that if you are, this is a two-way street. You must be willing to show respect to the members of your host family. You'll notice I've removed some offensive remarks that you included. If you aren't willing to be respectful yourself, you won't be treated with respect in return. I am not suggesting that you accept being abused; quite the contrary. What I'm saying is that if you go into someone's home with a sense of entitlement, chances are you will be treated with contempt and scorn. But if you show a willingness to cooperate and an appreciation for the way the family does things (especially when you disagree with the way those things are done or not done—barring abuse, of course), you might find that living among the members of your host family to be a far better experience.

You are dealing with the repercussions of a mugging; that must be very difficult to do alone. As an exchange student, you were placed into a culture that was foreign; and without access to family and friends for support and encouragement, you had to put your faith in a system that was unfamiliar, one that seemed cruel and uncaring. Perhaps there is counselling available to you through the college. If you're still in college, check out that possibility. Find out whatever resources there are for you. Perhaps there is an Asian community that you can lean on.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I do wish you all the best.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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Dec 30, 2008
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Submitted by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

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You're right, Ray: it was NOT okay for you to be mistreated. Being called a whore is completely unacceptable under any circumstances. And while you have a right to privacy, that right does not exist under all circumstances. You said you talked to the people at the college and they dismissed your complaint. You didn't say how long ago this happened, but perhaps you can still file a complaint further up in the administration. While you might not get any justice for yourself, I would think that such a complaint would be taken into account when determining whether or not this family would be allowed to host another student. As for getting justice, which is what I think you are trying to say above, I wouldn't count on that. Prosecuting a family for what you believe is neglect is next to impossible, unless the neglect is extreme and it can be proven to be extreme. What you've described does not fit into this category. I don't know if you are still in the student exchange system, but just understand that if you are, this is a two-way street. You must be willing to show respect to the members of your host family. You'll notice I've removed some offensive remarks that you included. If you aren't willing to be respectful yourself, you won't be treated with respect in return. I am not suggesting that you accept being abused; quite the contrary. What I'm saying is that if you go into someone's home with a sense of entitlement, chances are you will be treated with contempt and scorn. But if you show a willingness to cooperate and an appreciation for the way the family does things (especially when you disagree with the way those things are done or not done—barring abuse, of course), you might find that living among the members of your host family to be a far better experience. You are dealing with the repercussions of a mugging; that must be very difficult to do alone. As an exchange student, you were placed into a culture that was foreign; and without access to family and friends for support and encouragement, you had to put your faith in a system that was unfamiliar, one that seemed cruel and uncaring. Perhaps there is counselling available to you through the college. If you're still in college, check out that possibility. Find out whatever resources there are for you. Perhaps there is an Asian community that you can lean on. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. I do wish you all the best. Darlene Barriere Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator Author: <a href="http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/my-story-of-abuse.html">On My Own Terms, A Memoir</a>

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Child Abuse Story From Ray1

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