Child Abuse Story From Private

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Child Abuse Story From Private

by Private
(Chicago, Illinois, USA)

My mother abused me terribly:
I am now in my late thirties (male) and truly realize how my mother abused me. It took me this long to figure out that it really was not me and that she is to blame.

For my early childhood, she called me names, told me I would never be anything, screamed at me over the smallest things i.e. spilled milk, blamed me for everything, told me that I was not a good kid and nobody would like me, ridiculed me when I did not do good at certain sports or in school (even though I graduated with a 3.4 GPA), withheld things from me and then threatened me by not giving me things that I needed. I now hate my mother truly since she took away a huge part of my life, my childhood, and my twenties.

Throughout my teen years, I was afraid to try new things since she would make fun of me and I always though people would hate me (which they did not) because that is what she told me.

As a child I always told her that she made me feel bad and she did not care. She blamed me and my other siblings.

I now look back and wish things could be different but they are not. I am trying to move forward but it's hard. If you feel that you are abused by your mother, please have her read this, so she realizes that this can mess up a person for life.

Note from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

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Child Abuse Story From Private

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Mar 10, 2009

Part 1: I can relate...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I know what it's like to be told you're worthless, won't amount to anything, that people hate you, etc.; my mother did the same to me. I learned later, as an adult, that she was really talking about herself. That by degrading me and trying to destroy who I was (someone stronger than she could stand) she, in her own twisted way, was elevating herself. But of course, this could never happen, since she continued to see herself as the battered and beaten little girl her own mother tried to destroy. What aggravated my mother most when I was a teenager was that I had my own mind, because she had never had that opportunity. So in fact, my mother was jealous of me. Learning this was quite the revelation, one I had a difficult time adjusting to, since I was still in the mind of the child. What my mother tried to do to me sounds like what your mother tried to do to you. It took its toll on me, as I can see it took its toll on you. I ended in therapy; but when I came to terms with all my mother had really tried to do to me and why, and then when I realized I was strong and resilient, I realized I had the power to make choices in my life that would be healthy, and that as long as I was an adult, I could no longer blame her for the choices I made. It was a defining moment.

See Part 2: Past vs Present... below.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Mar 10, 2009

Part 2: Past vs Present...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Your mother cannot continue to destroy your life unless you allow that to happen. You must take back control and not allow your mother the power to affect who you are now, today. This can be difficult, I know; but I also believe you can do it. You didn't deserve to be told you wouldn't amount to anything. You didn't deserve to have love withheld. You didn't deserve to be told no one would like you or that you weren't good at anything. What you deserved was love and respect and dignity. You deserved to have a well adjusted mother, a mother who was caring and loving. But that's not what you got; you were robbed of what you deserved; and for that your mother was—IS—to blame. The question for you now is whether or not you will continue to blame your mother for the choices you get to make in your life now. Your Past is just that: your Past. Your future hasn't happened yet. You can only live in the Present moment. And living to the fullest in the Present moment will affect your future. Bitterness and hatred will only continue to destroy the person you can really be, which means that your mother continues to yield power over you. Don't continue to let that happen.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

May 13, 2009

Great you've found a Sanctuary/Haven of help
by: Anonymous

Oh Private, regard yourself as LUCKY and a great and wonderful, special, unique in your own beautiful right. You look in the MIRROR and say to that person in the Mirror I can accomplish anything I want but I need to choose to do it for myself and myself alone. You owe it to youself Private to make the best of life and live it to the full each day you raise your head from the pillow. You Mother is your mother as mine was mine. Mother's can sadly not bring out the best in their lack of knowledge how to be a good mother. I have journeyed with 100's who were sadly abused by their mothers unintentionally in a small percent of them. But knowingly by the majority who abused and ruined their childs life. Be brave, Be strong, Heed the loving caring advice from Darlene she has the mothering insticts and does emphatise with you in a huge way Private. Make her words real for you.

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Child Abuse Story From Private

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Child Abuse Story From Private