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Child Abuse Story From Phil

by Phil
(Cheshire, UK)




My father emotionally and physically abused me and my sister. I got it more, and had quite a difficult childhood and adult life. I was very confused, very withdrawn, had no confidence and could not interact with people I didn't know. I struggled at school, though I am actually quite intelligent. I had difficulty holding down a job, mainly because I could not deal with the fear of the situation of dealing with people and responsibility. I've had a drink problem from my late teens, which I've only recently addressed. I don't really blame my father (though I used to). I see now how troubled he himself was. He was treated much the same by his mother, who was probably treated the same by her family. She also almost certainly had some sort of mental illness, which my father probably had. He certainly had an obsessive compulsive disorder, which I also seem to have inherited.

My father's dead now, and though I wince when I think about our homelife, I do miss him, because he mellowed as he got older and I have a better impression of the man he could have been rather than the man his mind and his circumstance made him.

I'm middle aged now, late 40s, married and have two children. I'm still not the most touchy feely person, and my wife would probably say I was hard work sometimes, but I learned from her what a normal family should be like, and I never treated my kids the way my father treated us. I'm affectionate tell them I love them, and so hopefully that's an end to that flaw in the grain of my family tree.

Thanks for the opportunity to write, and all the information here. It's a great site that really helps.




Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

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Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Phil

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Apr 05, 2011
Phil:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I commend and applaud that you broke the cycle of abuse with your own family. Your father wasn't the only one who mellowed in age. I get a such a sense of mellowing from you through your story. An honest assessment of how things went down and why. Your journey has taken you to empathy, understanding and forgiveness. That's such a gift, Phil. And as a result, you've been released from the ties that would otherwise have kept you imprisoned in hostility and anger. We are all a work in progress. My visitors and I thank you for sharing how your work has progressed you to the man you are today.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir


Apr 06, 2011
ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF:
by: maurice

Phil, I mean this from my heart to you: Darlene has surely affirmed you, your the best: having been abused emotionally and physically and worked through your own process of making a sense of it: having a good woman and wife with two lovely children to LOVE you and for you to LOVE them is your ticket to living your life to the full: ensuring you love, honour, value and rsspect your nearest and dearest especially your children: But most of all yourself: Just soak Darlene's words into your heart Phil: own them for the good man, husband, Father she truly believes you are as I certainly do too: Graet news, great words to read of a very genuine and sincere man wanting to understand his abuse and the why behind it: Onwards now: letting go as you make real sense of it day by day in a very sincere and positive way

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