Child Abuse Story From Phil

by Phil
(Cheshire, UK)

My father emotionally and physically abused me and my sister. I got it more, and had quite a difficult childhood and adult life. I was very confused, very withdrawn, had no confidence and could not interact with people I didn't know. I struggled at school, though I am actually quite intelligent. I had difficulty holding down a job, mainly because I could not deal with the fear of the situation of dealing with people and responsibility. I've had a drink problem from my late teens, which I've only recently addressed. I don't really blame my father (though I used to). I see now how troubled he himself was. He was treated much the same by his mother, who was probably treated the same by her family. She also almost certainly had some sort of mental illness, which my father probably had. He certainly had an obsessive compulsive disorder, which I also seem to have inherited.

My father's dead now, and though I wince when I think about our homelife, I do miss him, because he mellowed as he got older and I have a better impression of the man he could have been rather than the man his mind and his circumstance made him.

I'm middle aged now, late 40s, married and have two children. I'm still not the most touchy feely person, and my wife would probably say I was hard work sometimes, but I learned from her what a normal family should be like, and I never treated my kids the way my father treated us. I'm affectionate tell them I love them, and so hopefully that's an end to that flaw in the grain of my family tree.

Thanks for the opportunity to write, and all the information here. It's a great site that really helps.

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