Child Abuse Story From Onion

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Child Abuse Story From Onion

by Onion
(United Kingdom)

I feel so sad reading some of these stories of people saying their abuse wasn't that bad, or questioning whether it was abuse or not (I understand though that this is a stage we all go through).

Abuse and its effects are written in our hearts and souls. I wasn't physically or sexually abused, but I know that what happened to me was very, very bad. This is because it was my mother who did this from the day I was born. I was emotionally neglected and psychologically abused. I write this to share my pain with anyone else who thinks that "it wasn't that bad."

My childhood wasn't about the big incidents, but the everyday things: It was about having a toothache and curling up on my own because I knew I wouldn't get any sympathy. It was about not being told "I love you." It was about not getting cuddles, birthday parties, friends over to play, or any choice whatsoever in what I might like to eat, wear or do. It was about having normal childhood problems (like wetting the bed) where I was made to feel that I did it on purpose. It was about the fact that Mum never asked me how my day at school went. It was about me telling her (scrunching up all my courage) that I wasn't happy at school, and then being told that there was nothing wrong with the school and if that if I was unhappy it was my fault. It was about her not even looking at me. It was about her convincing everyone else that I was just a problem child. It was about that look on her face when I was hurting, which confused me; I was an adult starting to heal when I realised that the look was contempt and pleasure. I am healing now and you can too.

Darlene's comments are at the link below.

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Child Abuse Story From Onion

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Jan 22, 2008

The abuse WAS that bad
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Abuse is hell, no matter what type of abuse it is. Minimizing whatever abuse a person has lived through only serves to temporarily remove that person from the emotional pain, and therefore, stunts the healing and recovery process.

As a child, you needed to feel loved and wanted and supported by your mother. Emotional abuse is one of the most difficult to overcome, because it takes a thousand positive pats on the back for every time a child is degraded or made to feel unloved and unwanted. Neglect has the effect of making a child feel worthless and unlovable. You deserved your mother's love and you deserved to be wanted by her. It was a birthright. I hope you're giving yourself the pats on the back that you never received as a child. I believe that giving yourself what you didn't get as a child is at the core of healing, because when you start to treat yourself well, you start to re-program the negative debasing messages.

As an adult you came to realize that your mother's "look" was "contempt and pleasure." Our mother's must have been cast from the same nefarious mold. I really do understand and feel for what you went through. Keep up the good work with your healing and recovery. You're worth it.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jan 27, 2008

Child Abuse Story from Onion
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry you went through such a terrible experience with the person who should have cushioned life's ups and downs. You are not alone. Many people go through similar experiences, much more so than we would like to believe. My parents have always said that the good thing about a child who suffers abuse is that they will eventually grow and leave the abusive environment. Unfortunally, they take the pain with them. I do agree with this, but the good thing is that healing will come to those who seek it. It might be a long process but healing and a full life awaits once the healing has taken place. You will be a much happier person and your past abuse will simply be a bad memory!!! Believe that you will be okay and you will!

Jan 27, 2008

don't be anonymous
by: Onion

Thanks Darlene, your comments have helped me to make some good decisions.

Anonymous, abuse survivers have trust issues and your comment reveals nothing about yourself. We are here to share and you are not sharing. There are things here to distrust - the way you talk about your parents even mentioning the word "abuse" worries me. I am not saying that you haven't been abused but you need to open up here to feel safe and immediately believed.

Jan 29, 2008

i knought what you mean
by: lucie

My mom was like that and still is. I'm 43 years old and it's till hurting me.

Jan 29, 2008

You're very welcome
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I'm really happy to hear that my comments helped you to make some good decisions, Onion. I appreciate that you took the time to tell me that and to say thank you.

And don't be too hard on Anonymous below for not revealing more of the abuse; survivors are at varying degrees of readiness, even when they can remain anonymous and disclose in a safe way. Perhaps this person will read more of the stories and comments on this site and find it helpful for disclosing purposes. We can only hope.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Feb 02, 2008

Comment deleted
by: Candice

***Comment titled "Life full of sadness" deleted by Darlene Barriere - Webmaster***

To Candice: This space is reserved for comments directed at Onion, the person who wrote the accompanying child abuse story. I have removed your comment and will consider it as a story for its own page. Thank you.

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Child Abuse Story From Onion

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Child Abuse Story From Onion