Child Abuse Story From Niya

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Child Abuse Story From Niya

by Niya
(Maryland, USA)

Waiting, debating
Contemplating.
On whether or not I
Should be saying.

He took one thing
I can never get back.
It just goes to show
The real man he lacks.

Trust was a thing
My mom gave to him,
Not knowing the monster he
hides within.

I lay down for sleep
As he tells me to.
Knowing the moment is coming,
When he finally breaks through.

I'm hurt and
I'm bleeding.
He’s laughing,
Ignoring my pleading.

Does he care?
Does it bother him?
Knowing there was more than one thing
He put inside me
Other than grim.

Three years have past
And I am still perturbed,
By the mess he left,
All things in my world are disturbed.

Just thinking he’s out there
With some other girl.
She’s probably so scared.
It makes me want to hurl.

I have no bruises,
I have no scars.
But taking my virginity,
Was like taking my heart.

Why would he do this?
What did I do?
I cant take my mind off of him.
I don’t know how to.

Picture perfect memories,
are not the images I see.
When I look back and think
Of a younger me.

I see his face
flash in my mind
Smiling his ugly smile,
I wish I was blind.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Niya

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Dec 06, 2011

Niya:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Please seek out some form of counselling or therapy to help you to deal with the memory of the abuse and the way it has impacted you. You already survived the worst of it. Now you re-live it over and over and over again in your mind. In other words, you re-live it more often than it actually happened; and the mind and body don't know the difference between the reality of an event happening in the moment or the remembering of it. This means you're system is reacting in the same way it did when the abuse occurred, and that in turn is leaving you with more and more effects. You don't deserve to live this way. You deserved, and still deserve, to be treated with dignity and respect and love. Please treat your Self with that dignity and respect and love. Start by seeing someone who can help you. You can't change what happened, but you sure as heck can change how you're responding to what happened. Don't continue to give your power away to this pedophile. Take it back. He doesn't deserve one more second of your precious time. Report what he did to you so that you can help stop another child being abused. Pedophiles don't stop until they're made to stop...you can make a difference here. Like I said, make the decision to take your power back, and then live your life with purpose. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Dec 06, 2011

there's always a way
by: Anonymous

Niya,
It takes a lot of courage to write your poetic story. You're a beautiful writer. The person who raped you is dysfunctional with a capital D.

Darlene's right about repeating the abuse in your mind, it just keeps making you feel so helpless over and over. You can stop the cycle of helplessness in your life by deciding that inside of you there is always a way to help yourself overcome what you've endured.

Keep yourself open to recovering and keep telling your story because it matters to you. See the man for 1 year old child he behaves like. He has no idea how to know what's right, but you do. You can make a difference, stand tall and report him.

Dec 07, 2011

The Horror
by: Anonymous

Niya, I can't believe that your mom would abandon you to that sick, sadistic monster and allow him to abuse and offend you 24/7...how dare she! Shame on her for running away from you instead of protecting you from that beast! A mother who chooses such a pervert over her own precious daughter is the kind of mother who doesn't deserve to have said daughter in her life. I really hope that you're in a safe place now. oh, and he could be offending other little girls as well, so TELL, TELL, TELL!

Dec 09, 2011

Memories
by: Casey

Dear Niya,

Your poem brings tears to my eyes because I can completely understand how you find yourself reliving the experience over and over again in your mind. We cannot change our pasts, but I know it's possible to take control over our futures. I say this because that is exactly what I'm trying to do. I find that even after many years, I relive my most painful memories almost daily. It's like I can't start my day without doing so. I wish I could put these memories inside a box and put them away forever, but for some reason I don't know how to do that. I wish you the best and hope that you can one day put your painful memories away and never have to relive them ever again. You deserve emotional peace and happiness. My best wishes are with you.

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Child Abuse Story From Niya

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Child Abuse Story From Niya