Child Abuse Story From Nicole
by Nicole
It is the people in your life that you thought you could always count on and to help you through any issues you had. This was not the case for me. I am 18 now, and was adopted by a loving family when i was 6 years young. I thought I had the perfect life and parents who loved and cared for me. But all that changed one day in 6th grade. My sister filed a report on my adopted dad, saying that he had raped her and committed sexual acts with her. My parents embedded it into my mind that she was crazy and messed up in the head. But I always had that little voice in the back of my mind telling me to listen to her. I never did. So she went away and I never saw her again. My dad was arrested at 2 am in the morning and was taken to jail for a day or so. I was crying and just felt useless. Now i look back and think, "wow, could I have done something to stop it?" I regret so much. But getting back to the issue that boiled over. It was about 10th grade, I began to feel a sense of displeasure in the household. My dad began to change and I saw a side of him that creeped me out. I began to notice fresh holes in my walls and him waking up early in the morning while I would shower. I buried it away. I kept going over and over in my mind, telling myself that I was just paranoid and that he was my father; he is supposed to love me and care for me. So, each night he would come back in the room when my mom was sleeping and bring me candy. He would always demand a hug though. So as time went on I still kept ignoring it till one morning it all came to me and my life forever changed after that. I learned that my dad was video taping me while I was getting dressed. I saw it hidden under my white aero jacket and it literally broke me. I went into shock and broke down. Millions of things were running through my mind, so I took the camera to school with me and when I got home, my dad demanded I give his camera back, so in rage, I deleted the video and through it at him. I confronted him about it later that night before a big football game, and asked him why he did that. His excuse was "I was testing to see if you would tell your mother about it." Again I shrugged it off. I began cutting and getting into bad stuff because I could not control my feelings and rage. I began to think about everything and put the pieces together. I thought about all the times when I hugged him he would brush his hands against my breast, how he would watch me through the window and holes in the walls. Just every time he touched me I shuddered inside. I have so much rage till this day because of him. And this was only the beginning. It was all building up to that one night when my whole life was flipped upside down. I had just come home from school and I was stressed so my dad came in the back room to see me and he started to tell me to calm down and not get so stressed and he began to touch my legs and rub them up till he reached above my knees. I was almost in panic mode and I could not move. I just starred at the T.v and tried to ignore it till my mom walked in. She screamed and asked what the hell he was doing and he just walked out of the room. I ran into my room and locked my door and went into a mental break down. I heard my mother and fathers conversation and he said he did nothing wrong. So after a few minutes my mom knocks on my door and I let her in. Thinking I could talk to her, I told her everything, and she was so understanding. She said she would not tell dad what I had just told her. That was the night I lost all trust and betrayal was present. She left the room, went out and told my dad everything I had said; about the camera, the holes, everything. And he Completely denied doing any of that stuff and the worst thing is, my mother believed him over me. Her own daughter, pushed me aside and called me a sl*t and blamed it all on me. I could not take it anymore so I called my brother and he drove 3 hours to get me.I packed some clothes and fled out of my window. This will forever haunt me, and I wish one day I will overcome all the trauma and live a normal life and have fun, but as of now, that is impossible. It has been three years and I still have so much rage, that it builds up and I don't know how to control it. I believe one day I will be able to overcome it and have a healthy relationship with my brother and know he is not like my dad, nor any other man for that matter. I will always remember the trauma I endured, the trauma that was so hidden that I did not even realize it was effecting me.  Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:  Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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