Child Abuse Story From Nancy3

by Nancy
(USA)

Sometimes I wonder if my story is as bad as others. My parents would downplay it and laugh when I reported them. I was beaten with a 'paddle', a wooden spoon, and a belt. I was whipped into a corner, pleading. At 11, my stepfather took me over his knee and paddled me. My mother told me I was "a disgrace" and "a witch" and told my sisters and brother that I was "a border" and not part of the family. My grandfather touched me when I was around 9. My behavioral issues started then, but I was just blamed for them. My mother told me she hated me and she never hugged me. She forced my father's family out of my life (we are together again). I was told over and over that I wasn't stupid, just dumb and that my parents 'loved me but did not like me'. They would say that love was a mountain and that I was chipping away at it.

I was promiscuous at school, often going in the bathroom and stripping, then flashing other girls. I touched myself dramatically in class and allowed boys and men to feel me all the time. I was put into my first mental hospital when I was 14, and then another right after. I was abused in both, mostly the first one though where two separate grown men showed interest in me. There was no sexual contact but there was 'dating'. I continued the abuse on my own by dating abusive men and becoming an alcoholic and a drug addict.

I am doing well now. I am clean and sober and in a healthy same-sex relationship. I am still in therapy, and probably will be for a long time.

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