Child Abuse Story From Nancy
by Nancy
(Ohio, USA)
The abuse that took place in our home wasn't just against me; my mother and brothers and sisters were all abused. Many nights I lay in bed listening to my mom begging him to stop hitting her, her usually soft, kind voice was a sad whimper, "Please don't hit me, please stop." It haunts me even now.
What was worse was when he would come drag me out of bed, literally, in the middle of the night and start the inquisition, "Who was here today? Where did your mother go? What road did she take? If a man was here, what color was his hair?" That one confused me, and I remember saying brown, because most men have brown hair. Well, he beat my mom terribly over that answer, though no man had been to our house at all. This was worse because of the guilt I felt and because sometimes Mom would ask me, "Why did you tell him that?" with her face all black and blue. The guilt was heavy and long-lasting, maybe never-ending.
My father hated us all and told us so, but it was my older sister, the one I loved so much, who he developed a special hatred for. Maybe it was because she looked just like Mom. She'd walk in the room and he'd say, "I hate your guts. I should just kill you now." She had a nervous laugh and when he was beating her with his belt she would laugh. I would beg her in my mind to cry. I freely cried, but I don't think she could. The beatings seemed so much worse when they were happening to her. "Please Sissy," I'd whisper to myself, "just cry. It will end sooner if you do." But she couldn't. Many times I sat with her, examining her burn-like welts and bruises. I still can see them. I had them too, but hers are the ones I can still feel.
Even when the abuse happens to someone else in your home, it's like it's happening to you in a way. I remember their abuse clearer than my own. I told another of my sisters who was older than me of the worse day, when our father was abusing her and she had to leave home that day and she never came back. My sister didn't remember any of it. I not only remember it, I can close my eyes and see it. Many nights I've dreamed of it.
I told some of my story here before, not long ago, and everyone said such comforting, helpful things to me. I really appreciated it very much. Thank you.
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