Comments for Child Abuse Story From Nancy L

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May 16, 2013
 Nancy:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

We are about the same age. The mere concept that mothers could sexually abuse their children was not even considered in our time. Even today, as you state, many simply choose to believe that mothers are incapable of this form of abuse. In part, this is because it tears at the fabric of who we are as a society. If mothers, the caregivers and nurturers, are capable of sexually abusing their children, then what does that mean for the stability of society. Of course, we know that mothers are indeed capable of such abuse, and more. Mothers who sexually abuse often get away with it under the cover caregiving and nurturing—motherhood—but it is an abuse that is getting more attention. Still though, the stigma today is that it can't be worse than being abused by a male, which we both know is untrue. Sexual abuse is sexual abuse, no matter what gender is perpetrating it. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, Nancy. And bless you for all the work you do with and for children. You've found a way to turn your pain into power. What a beautiful person you've become. I send you love, light and healing energy.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
May 16, 2013
 Thank you for your kind words....
by: Anonymous

Hi Darlene,thank you for kind words. The sexual abuse by my mother was extremely sadistic and she became almost joyous in finding ways to make it more and more painful. I learned early to not show pain as that became her "reason" to hurt me even more. My father overlooked the abuse as though it was not happening, but as he grew older he let it slip that he had known what was happening from at least the time I was 4 years old. I suppose I knew that deep down, but the betrayal was great and it wounded my soul almost as bad as the abuse.

Today, I have been asked to tell my story in different venues and I am doing so, not for anyone to feel sorry for me, but so that hopefully I can help someone else who may feel trapped and alone like I did for all those years.

Thanks again for allowing me the space to share a small part of my story. Today I just found out my knuckles in my right hand are broken and I have to have my 55th surgery. I will never physically be free of the abuse, but emotionally I am!

Nancy
May 16, 2013
 ---
by: Anonymous

Nancy, I can't believe your dad would abandon you to the so-called care of that sick, disgusting pedophile of a mother and allow her to rape and offend you 24/7; how dare he! Oh, and when you had joint problems, the fact that they refused to bring you to the doctor (and chose to let you suffer instead) is appalling because it sends a message that they knew what was wrong with you yet didn't care enough to do something about it. Just because no one listened to you about her disgusting behavior, that doesn't mean no one will listen to you now because I'm already listening. I'm glad that you worked to get out; I just hope that you try counselling and that you look into reporting that disgusting mother of yours (as well as your uncaring dad) for all those terrible crimes that they committed against you.
May 17, 2013
 pressure
by: Scott 1

From Darlene - Webmaster: Comment moved to Scott1's child abuse stories page, Part 1, as the comments on this thread are reserved for Nancy L.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
May 22, 2013
 Nancy,
by: AnonymousT

I just wanted you to know that years ago I belonged to an online forum for abuse survivors. On there was a woman who was sexually abused by her mother who also used bowel movements as a tool to control or abuse. The reason I mention this is - you're not alone. This is a horrible thing and I'm so sorry it happened to you or anyone.....but you are not alone in your healing.

I wish you peace and strength.
T
Sep 11, 2013
 Book & similar story, comment about other postings
by: My Two Cents

Hi, Nancy L:

there is a book you may like:

A Mother's Touch: Surviving Mother-Daughter Sexual Abuse by Julie A. Brand


Also, there is another story on this website which is extremely similar to yours - Mary4 - I actually only remember the name because of the sheer volume of comments I made in that story. I have some references to other materials there as well.

I don't want to scare anyone, because maybe posting this story is your way of saying, "This HAPPENED!" but I would like to point out that this story has also been posted on the Experience Project's thread, "I was molested." I hope it's not someone copying/pasting the story to gain a wider audience.

Be Well

My Two Cents
Sep 12, 2013
 My story by Nancy L
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the comments and the book suggestion. I can say I have not copied from anyone! This is MY experience growing up and it would be sad if someone needed my story, but I DID go through this growing up from infancy through when I had to move out. Tomorrow I will be having my 58th surgery due to the fact that my parents refused medical care.

My dad once told me as an adult that he hadn't noticed how bad my Rheumatoid Arthritis was. So, he was an avid photographer when I grew up. So, I brought out the pictures that he took as I grew up. I brought out the picture of me at 5 years old where my knees are so swollen that I couldn't put my feet together. He couldn't ignore the problem any longer. I have let go of the hurt that my RA was ignored and that he chose to check out of our family life because he didn't want to deal with my mother and her mental illness. However, every surgery it all comes back and I'm left with the pain that I had abusive parents that just put themselves first and not me.

I focus my life working with abused children and working with adult survivors of Sexual Abuse. It has been my passion since I was a child! If I can help anyone else then what I went through is worth it as it made me a VERY strong person!
Sep 15, 2013
 clarify
by: My Two Cents

Nancy,

I apologize, I didn't stop to think that someone would take the opposite view.

My thought was that someone copied from HERE to post there, not the opposite. Some people do get their kicks from reading this material and I just wondered if that was happening here.

I hope I didn't alarm anyone. In retrospect, I probably should have just kept that information to myself. It is the case that some people disclose in multiple forums under different names, I assume in an attempt to make people aware of what is going on, to be noticed - "This HAPPENED!" etc.

I do apologize again for any unneccessary fears I've awoken. I wish I had a delete/undo button for that post.

Be well

My Two Cents
Sep 15, 2013
 Nancy L
by: Anonymous

Please do not worry about it! I Run a online survivors group, so i am aware that some people will take someone's story as their own. i just had my 58th surgery this past Friday, so I am writing left handed. It's sad people will take someone elses memories as their own!My life was hell,but I am sure I am not alone!

No worries!

nancy L
Apr 18, 2018
 Update to my Story
by: Anonymous

I am updating my story as I just had my 72nd surgery from my parents doing nothing for My Rheumatoid Arthritis. I will continue to have more surgeries as I age. I am now 58 years old. I hope at least one person will read my story and know you are NOT alone. My story is also on You Tube now. If you search for " Nancy, My CASA story. I was volunteering at CASA for 10 yrs which works for abused children. I was speaking at a luncheon.

I am now volunteering at a residence for women who are recovering from a Substance Use Disorder. I run a group on 2 diff nights there and I love it. After 18 yrs my online chatroom is still going. I work with people who have been abused and living in Chronic Pain. My husband and I will celebrate our 37th wedding anniversary next month.

Nancy :)

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