Comments for Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed91

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Apr 15, 2011
To Name Undisclosed:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

There is only one person to blame, and that is your grandfather, your abuser. You didn't choose to be sexually abused; he chose FOR you, taking advantage of you in multiple ways for his own gratification. That's not on you; that's on HIM, and always will be. At least he confessed to it and will no longer be in a position to abuse others. Right now you need the kind of help that no one in your family is in a position to be able to give you. Encouragement and understanding and support are one thing, but you need more. Please consider some form of counselling in order to deal with the repercussions of what you endured, and to help you better deal with the unfolding memories. Just so you know, it's not unusual to repress trauma. It's your mind's way of protecting you from what it knows you are incapable of handling. As you become more capable of handling the trauma, memory often opens up. A counsellor can help you with this as well. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Apr 19, 2011
You are so Brave: I really belive this is a turning for the good in your life
by: maurice

There is one very beautiful human being behind undisclosed91 a beautiful young woman: Great you found Darlene and her site: You have gotten it out of your system your beautiful body: Now get on with your life: Take Darlene's words to your heart once you read them with you head: She has given you affirming words: loving one's to you personally: That bad bad Grandfather: ruining your beautiful innocence by sexually abusing you for his own sickness and weakness: He is a brave man to have admitted to the Police: saving you all the trauma of the effects of not telling out of fear of him: You are brave: ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF; Have a new motto from today IT BEING I will: I can: I must because I am WORTH it; change your daily, weekly, schedule: get out and about with like-minded people your own age and gender. Your friends: taking part in Team sports: sporting and cultural activities: this will make a difference in a short time: You'll make real and natural friends for life: have genuine aquaintances forever: Team sports also helps you to share your giftedness, tallents with others and bring out your leadership qualities: Always value, love and respect your body so others will too: Take charge of your own destiny in life: Learn from the past, live your life to the full in the NOW time and each day of your life will give you renewed energy to jump out of bedd in the morning because your life will have purpose: Darlene asked you to think about some form of counselling you'll be all the better for it if you do:

Apr 23, 2011
I Can Identify....
by: Bee

I too am afraid of the dark,the door being unlocked,strange men & men whom I know,I keep a distance between us.Which is o.k.,if it makes me feel safe.You are perfect...as perfect as you will ever be.What's perfect? In life,no one is perfect. We make mistakes.What happened to you by what your grandparent did was not your fault.It was his premeditated violent act against you.I use to be asleep while my brother raped me.I would sometimes be a half asleep but yet block out what was being done to me.The mind is gentle,it gives to us only what we can handle at the time.Even if it seems we can't handle it.I'm fearful of quite a few things but have managed my fear through counseling-talking,crying,venting & healing a bit at a time. Don't blame yourself & be gentle with yourself.My memories came back to me in bits & pieces sometimes.Other times,they came flooding back.With each memory,I gave myself time to remember & to heal.What was done to us was such a violent act that our mind blocked it out for a reason.Maybe until we were ready enough to face what was done to us.I have the memories & some days the sadness of what happened to me.I always will.I have learned to live,in spite of what was done to me.Don't blame yourself.Don't pick up the self-guilt.Love yourself for who you are.What was done to you doesn't take away the fact that you are still you....a beautiful innocent child that through no fault of her own had a violent act done to her.

Let the guilt lay where it should,at the doorstep of the person who molested you.Let him carry it around-he earned it by his malicious act-you didn't.We weren't made perfect,we were made innocent and our perpetrators saw this innocence in us & took advantage of it.

Take baby steps & they will lead to giant ones.Be gentle with yourself,you deserve this.I have healed through counseling,going to groups & talking.My memories are branded into me but the pain has diminished with each step I take toward my healing.The pain will pass & in it's wake it will leave a stronger,more firmer person in that no matter what....you are perfect,just the way you are!!
Bee.

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