Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed9

[?] Subscribe To This Site

Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed9

by Name Undisclosed
(Ohio, USA)

Child abuse with drugs:
I was eight when my parents got divorced. I remember crying a lot about it because I was close to my parents. I thought I had a mother that would throw herself under a bus for me, but I was wrong. I had problems as soon as the divorce started because my father had left my mother for her best friend; and she took a lot of her hate for my mother out on me. I remember my mom started to date my uncle's brother-in-law (my dad's brother's wife's brother).

I took a lot of mental abuse and physical abuse just for being alive. My stepmother would have nice talks to me and say things like, "You will grow up to be nothing but a welfare bum." What a funny thing to say to an eight-year-old child.

I think about things a lot as an adult now, and feel like I would just sound like another person about how bad I had it as a kid, then something happened today at work. I was at the lunch table with all my friends and one guy was telling stories about his abusive childhood. I looked up and said, "When I was eight my mother's boyfriend used to tie a grocery sack around my neck and poke a hole in the top and blow pot smoke in it." I got a really strange response from everyone, and was asked to repeat the story again out of disbelief.

I have anxiety, panic and depression, and am on medication but it does no good for me. I know my mother knows what happened because I told her about it when it happened and she seemed to think it was funny.

I just don't know what to do or how to deal with this. I just don't know if I can't remember being a child or if I have blocked it out.

I live a good life and my wife and son are first, and I mean I would throw myself under a bus for them.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed9" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed9

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 15, 2009

"Throwing yourself under a bus..."
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You said you would "throw yourself under a bus" for your wife and son, meaning you would die for them. But would you "live" for them; meaning would you get the help you need in order to live life to its fullest and thereby enrich your marriage and provide a model example for your son.

You were trapped between parents who were too busy fulfilling their own personal desires, and perhaps also too busy trying to hurt each other, to take stock of what was really important: their precious son. There is nothing "funny" about what you endured at the hands of a warped sicko of a man who was your mother's boyfriend; your mother enabled that abuse by failing to protect you even when she knew it was going on. There is nothing at all amusing about a twisted excuse for a stepmother who would tell her 8-year-old stepson that he would "...grow up to be nothing but a welfare bum". I keep asking, where the devil was your father in all this; seems he had his head in the sand. All the adults in your life failed you. It's no wonder you were left with anxiety, panic attacks and depression.

It is not unusual for a person to block out trauma; it's a coping skill; and a very effective one at that. Furthermore, it is not unusual for memories to suddenly flood into recall, triggered by something or someone. The human brain is an amazing piece of machinery; it will only allow you to remember what you are truly capable of dealing with. So look at your sudden recall as a sign that you are ready, just don't go it alone. I strongly recommend you find some form of counselling in order to help you through the emotional residue and in order to help you gain perspective on some very painful memories. Perhaps you've already entered into therapy of sorts, and you found it ineffective. If so, consider that not all therapists are created equally. It is important to find someone whom you trust, someone who will work with you. Sometimes that means shopping around. I do hope you will "shop around". You're worth that. You deserve that. And so do your wife and son.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Click here to add your own comments

Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed9

Comments for Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed9

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed9