Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed1

by Name Undisclosed
(Australia)

From when I was very young, me and my brother were always being abused by my mother. Most of the time my brother got away, and I was abused every time. There was also a time when my mum was speaking in Chinese and I couldn't understand her and so she threatened me with a butcher's knife. I was so scared, I didn't know what to do. But there has never been a time where she used her hands. She was always using a wooden rod. But when we moved house, my mother had gotten rid of the wooden rod and started using a metal rod. It was much, much more painful.

One time when I was about in grade 4 or 5, (can't quite remember which grade) it was dinner time and there was something I didn't agree with her, and she got really angry and aggressive. When I sat down on the chair next to her, she picked up the spoon and hit me on the head several times with the metal spoon and chop sticks. I got a big lump on my head, it was extremely sore. I've still got the lump. It's small, but since then I was confused of how I felt of my mother. In grade 6, I spoke to my friends about it. They told me that I should call 'kids helpline'. It was time to go class. I was thinking about it soooo much. I was really upset, so I walked out and my teacher followed and talked to me. I told her about everything. Even she thought it was wrong of my mother to do that, so even she considered calling 'kids helpline' and so did the principal.

They called for me, and I spoke to the lady on the phone. She gave me the number for Child Protection. But I was scared to do it myself. I was scared of what would happen. The school also had the number, so they called Child Protection because they were really, really worried about me.

The next day, two people from Child Protection came and two police officers came too. At lunch time we talked. One person from Child Protection asked questions. I was scared and nervous. The other was writing what we said. The police officers also asked questions. Then at the end, the one from Child Protection asking questions told me to sign something and that they would go speak to my mum about all this. She gave me a card with the number of working hours and after hours, and she told me to keep it a secret for just in case something happened.

I had to go back to class, but I was scared and I started to cry. The teacher sent me to the principal's office and the assistant had calmed me, and I was helping open letters. I was still scared. I then began to feel a bit of regret. I felt sad, then I remembered my Jing-Jing, my puppy that I had loved. He was my best friend. I still love him more than anyone else. My mum gave him away. She keeps giving me different reasons of why she gave him away. He was my birthday present when I was 2 years old. He loved me. When my mum went to give him a bath, he wouldn't go without me. There was a time when it was at night and I couldn't sleep that he came in and I looked down and he was sooo cute. He jumped on my bed and lay down next to me. I put my cover over him and he slept with me. He would never hurt me, but in fact he was always protecting me. He always barked at my friend and neighbours that were strangers to him. But my mother told me that he didn't like girls so that's why she gave him away...TO A GIRL!!! It wasn't that he didn't like girls, he was protecting me. I will always love him, forever! But then when I thought about it, my mum was probably the one who didn't want him. I heard that he got sick and that he wouldn't eat, drink or sleep because he missed me. And I miss him.

It was after school and time to go home. I was scared in the car. My mum was normal, but then when we got home, the people from Child Protection were there. We talked about everything, and my mum started lying. She said that she hasn't hit me for over ten years! Over ten years ago I was only 1 or 2 years old!! I was 12 at that time when I got help.

My mum had to make 3 promises, but I only remember one: She couldn't hit me, not even with a hand. After, when they left, my mum started treating me worse than before. But then she started crying and she felt pain just like I felt pain. Then she started to blame me for not being able to go back to China to visit her mother because I took up her WHOLE life!! When she found that the school helped me, she made me move school. Three years on, and my mum still treats me badly, but this time I won't do anything unless she blows it, because I risk losing a lot of things, such as my friends, my happiness and my trust.

I haven't told any of my friends, I want to keep it a secret. I would have told my friends but I just get confused of who to trust. I don't know if I can trust anyone. It's mostly teachers that I get confused of trust. But there have been times where I got scared again, because my mum thought I had too many friends and she said that I wasn't allowed to hangout with them anymore. But then I realised that she doesn't care about anyone but herself. There were a lot of times where my friends needed me and I was there to help them. When my mum found out, she lectured me about helping others but not myself. When her friends needed her, she wasn't there for them. She doesn't care about people around her. My friends are very important to me. I'd rather me get hurt than my friends. My best friend is always happy and smiling and she makes me happy, even when I'm upset and in pain. My mum hates her, but I don't care. I don't care if my mum won't let me hangout with her, because I'm always going to be next to her, no matter what. I'll always be her friend. I don't want to lose someone else that is important to me. My Jing-Jing was important to me, but I lost him, so I will never lose my best friend.

Barely anyone at school knows about this. I feel depressed and stressed out, even at home. At night I can't sleep. I have nightmares and sometimes I become paralyzed. At school I find it hard to concentrate and work. Sometimes, when I miss my Jing-Jing too much, I can't help but cry. Even today my body and my head has pain at random times, on my head. Sometimes it's at the front and sometimes it's at the back.

My mum hits me on purpose, and now I don't feel anymore regret. I feel like I did something good. And I hope that everyone who reads this can understand how much pain a lot of children have been/are in. There are a lot of good people out there that can help, like the people from Child Protection.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Name Undisclosed1" are at the link below.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.