Child Abuse Story From Moroccan Survivor

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Child Abuse Story From Moroccan Survivor

by Hope
(Fairfax, Virginia, USA)

I had very bad childhood. I grew up in a family who only used their hands and sticks to communicate. My dad owned a grocery store. When I was 7 years old I had to wake up at 6:00am to open and stay there until it was time to go to school, and then same thing when I got out of school I had to go straight to the store. I never got the chance to watch TV or play with other kids. When sometimes I refused to work I was bitten up very bad and pulled up from my hair from the house to the store. Sometimes he would tell me to leave if I don't like it, but where I go, so I had to do it and shut my mouth. Top it all, my mom would asked me to wash the dishes at night and sometimes mop the floor when I came from school at noon to go back at 2:00pm I am supposed to get lunch, rest and go back to school until 6:00pm, but she would have work for me to do and if I said that I am tired and there's not enough time she would scratch my face and bite me on my shoulder and I end up doing what she asked for and then go to school sad and hungry. At 6:00pm when I get out from school I have to go to the grocery store again and sit there until 11:00pm and do my homework in between the customer breaks.

I had very bad childhood. I remember being smacked and slapped and spit on many times.

Also one time, my dad told me to get out and I was only 16 years old. I didn't know where to go and if I told my closer family I will get hurt more from my parents. I never felt loved.

Right now I am a mother of 5 kids and I live in the USA and I am doing my best to give my kids the best childhood that I could not have. I told my mom why she did that to me when I was young. She said that she was sad and unhappy and it was a lot of work that has to be done so she took her frustration on her kids and she asked me to forget and don't talk about it. Actually, she got mad and wanted to leave at one point because I confronted her.

I hope I can forgive my parents for what they did to me. Especially now I am mother and my dad pass away, but deep inside I am hurt.

I remember crying so bad when I had my first child and my mom didn't come to help and never want to come during the birth of her grand-kids. She told me that she want to come when she feel like it so I know that still she never changed and I don't count on her. I count on my friends to help me with my kids while I go to labor and I stay at the hospital only 1 day that way I come back home to take care of my kids and my newborn. I cry during that time and then I told myself to be strong and ask God for help and love, not my mom or relatives.

Note from Darlene: The volume of contributor submissions has now made it impossible for me to comment personally (especially in great detail) on each and every contribution. If I haven't left you a comment or one that is in-depth, please do not take my lack of a personal response as a slight, or as a statement that your story is somehow unworthy of my time. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, could be further from the truth. If there was a way for me to respond to all of you at length, I would.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

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Child Abuse Story From Moroccan Survivor

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May 26, 2009

A distant mother and distancing from your mother
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

When our family members refuse to help us, but rather, chose to make our lives miserable, there is nothing we can do to change them. We can only be responsible for our own actions. Your mother has made it clear that she does not want to talk about the past and that she will come to help you only if she wants to and in her own good time. You must respect her wishes, because she gets to decide what she wants to do for herself. However, as an adult, you too can make choices. You can decide to move forward with your life without her. You can choose to make friends and find people who can be what I call your "chosen family". These are people who love you and care about you, people you care about and love. These are people you can rely on. It sounds to me as though you have people in your life that you can rely on. There is much to be thankful in that.

Besides, consider that even your mother was there to help with your children, perhaps her methods would be harmful to your children. If she doesn't take responsibility for the way she mistreated you, who's to say she won't mistreat your children, or at least expose them to some type of mistreatment. Perhaps not having your mother there is not a bad thing. Perhaps distance from your mother at this time is a good thing.

I am not one to advocate for confrontations with abusers. In my experience, they rarely—if ever—result in the outcome the victim really wants. Such confrontations are wracked with denials (saying it didn't happen or didn't happen that way), minimizations (giving excuses or saying it wasn't that bad) or worst, pointing the finger of blame on the victim (saying it was the victim's fault). Even if a confrontation results in an acknowledgment of some type, it is often followed with one excuse after another. You tried to confront your mother; she slapped you down, not physically the way she used to when you were a child, but instead with her angry words to you.

Focus now on the two most important things in your life: your mental health and the well-being of your children. You sound as though you are focused on your children. It's time to focus on your well-being too. Consider some form of counselling in order to help you with the emotions of living the childhood you lived.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Jun 01, 2009

you surely are a brave survivor now is the time to let go
by: maurice

Oh how my heart went out to you while reading your story you certainly endured alot. Your parents were monsters rather than loving/caring parents. No excuses for they way they used and abused you. Sadly all these years later you are brave enough to tell your story. Great you found Darlen's site. She was a visionary when she set up her site. she is a concerned very professional woman. She relates to each individual abuse story, she certainly is a good steward of her site. Gentle and sensitive in her personal comments to each of her visitors. Her loving encourageing words to you are from her heart, what she advises You if you can begin to get the help you really need now to begin loving yourself and acknowledgeing that you are the most important person NOW. See yourself beautiful, with all the LOVE of a mother to rear your own children NOW they are your own flesh and blood. I know you will care for them and treat them with respect and love that sadly was not in your own life as a child. Darlene words Look after your own health now and care for your own children. Sadly your Parent won't make great Grandparent when they were so cruel to you. HI KNOW ONE THING YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE AND COURAGEOUS WOMAN MOTHER. DON'T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF FOR THE WAY YOUR PARENTS TREATED YOU; IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. So now Live well, Laugh alot, Love much. You owe it to yourself and your five children.

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Child Abuse Story From Moroccan Survivor

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Child Abuse Story From Moroccan Survivor