Child Abuse Story From Merenia

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Child Abuse Story From Merenia

by Merenia
(New Zealand)

Growing up in a small town, where every1 knew every1 and pretty much everything it was hard to get away, runaway and to just escape. My Dad was very strict, 'Old School' methods and yes my mum, sister and I would get the 'Beat down'. Mainly mum and myself.Every1 knew Dad was a violent man and mum would do anything to try keep him happy by making sure we were out of sight,quiet,clean, our house chores done etc etc. And because of that they both didn't realize that family members and friends were sexually abusing me. I know I was very young when it first happened,not sure exactly what age. I can remember a few times but I've blocked out quite a few more.I can remember more of what happened after.I remember as an 8-9yr old going to the bathroom, my older cousin came in and pushed me up against the wall and took me from behind. As he was doing this he'd be whispering " u tell anyone and I'l smash u" and in the same breathe"your'e my special cousin". I just froze and cried. He would do this several times.Another time I was asleep, my lil sister not far from me in her bed, I heard the floor creeping and saw a family friend going towards my lil sis.This particular person had already touched me a few times and now wanted my lil sis. I wasn't gna let that happen. So I sat up,looked at him with a fear and opened my blanket. As long as I protected my lil sister. Another time in broad daylight, mum and dad were busy at the back of the shop we used to own, my aunt was looking after the shop floor. Another family friend bought me an ice-block and told me to sit on his lap, I said i don't want to, he grabbed me unzipped his fly pulled my knickers down a bit from under my dress and......it didn't penetrate me,he just wanted his thing to touch my thing I guess.

One day at high school.I was 13 going on2 14,we had a reliever teacher and she gave us a piece of paper and asked us to write down what we want to be when we grow older and if we had any regrets. She said don't worry you don't have to put your name on it,know 1 will know its you. So I wrote,"I want to be a Police woman, to protect the innocent and I regret being molested". We handed back the piece of paper and carried on with the class. I felt so good been able to tell some1 without actually telling them,I felt a lil relief. the bell rang,we headed out of class. The teacher asked me to stay behind. I was so scared,I thought What have I done wrong, she knows it was me, oh no wat do I do.! I eyes started to well up, I was trying to fight it. She asked me," what do you mean molested?" I just jumped down her throat yelling," How did ya know, you liar you said no1 would be able to tell if it was me,I didn't say that I didn't,How did ya know?" she just grabbed me and held me saying, " you're safe now, you're safe, No1 will hurt you anymore".I just screamed and screamed,cried and cried,yelled and yelled with mixed emotions. Im free Im free,wat will dad do? Ive f***ed it all up,people will know,what have I done,WHAT HAVE I DONE!!

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From Merenia

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Jan 06, 2012

Merenia:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You were honest and you told. I'm SO proud of you for doing so. I know you feel betrayed, but this teacher did NOT betray you. When she recognized it was you who wrote what you wrote, she couldn't ignore it; she was obligated to act. That's a teacher's responsibility. I know how difficult it is for you to understand that right now. Understand this, Merenia, nothing will change until you no longer keep the secret. Your parents have set you and your siblings up for sexual abuse because of the way they parent. Parenting with fear teaches children to be fearful. And you're so obviously fearful. Children and youth who deal with this kind of parenting are at much greater risk for sexual abuse, as well as dating violence and other forms of domestic violence as they move through the various ages and stages of their lives. And though the next thing I'm about to state will upset you, it must be said: Protecting your little sister from sexual abuse by serving yourself up instead does not protect her at all. There is every chance that she is being sexually abused too, which is another reason that you must disclose what's happening. Pedophiles look for vulnerable children and youth; you and your siblings are vulnerable and will continue to be so. Please disclose to the appropriate authorities. Nothing will change until you do. Contact WHATSUP, the New Zealand Child Helpline, in order to talk to a professional counsellor about what you're dealing with. The service is available for children aged 5 – 18 years, from noon to midnight 7 days a week. Call them at 0800 942 87 87. Visit their website by copying and pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.whatsup.co.nz

You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, Merenia. Call the number. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jan 07, 2012

abuse preventor
by: Anonymous

That is really sad and i hope cops will look at this website and if its happening right now let the track down the phone or computer they are writing the stories from and go arrest the parents.

Jan 08, 2012

Don't feel bad
by: Anonymous

Merenia, like the title says, don't feel bad about telling because telling someone is the right thing to do and, when you told the teacher, I really hope that the perverts and even your parents will really get incarcerated for all those disgusting crimes that they committed against you. It's not your fault that they chose to abuse and offend you. Oh, and perverts don't change their ways until they're made to stop.

Jan 08, 2012

I really like your teacher....
by: My Two Cents

Merenia,

You are incredibly lucky that you have a teacher that takes her responsibilities seriously and acts on them.

I've been in the teacher's position. I'm a social worker by training and once during an online conversation with a minor, I realized they were being molested and I reported it to the local child welfare authorities plus the child welfare authorities in their region.

When my report was made, it was investigated and sustained/founded and it allowed child welfare and counsellors to help the victim, and to investigate the predator.

Unfortunately, there wasn't enough evidence to charge the predator and the person involved had already started to hurt themselves via cutting and suicide attempts.

I do have one regret about what happened. When I realized what was happening, I tried very hard to get out of the conversation and not to let on that I was going to report it because I didn't want to jeopardize any investigation into the allegation. When I was getting out of the conversation, I think the person realized that I had realized what was happening to them and I misled them into thinking it wouldn't be reported. I can relate to your teacher and how upset you were.

What I would like to emphasis to you and every other person here is this: certain professionals like social workers, doctors, nurses, teachers, etc, are required by the law and their professional licensing bodies to report suspicions of child abuse. That law exists to protect children. There is no gray area. It is a black and white law, if you suspect abuse, you are required to inform the experts (child welfare) and let them investigate.

The focus is on YOU and making certain that YOU are SAFE and not being hurt or abused by anyone in any shape, manner, or form.

I know it is hard to understand your teacher's action as you thought she would keep your secret. I understand the need to let this out, anonymously.

I hope when all of this shakes out, at the end of the day, you are safe from being molested/hurt because of your teacher. Your teacher is helping you, and I know you don't feel that way just yet but it is true.

The person I was speaking of earlier, I can tell you was angry with me as well but in the years since this happened, they have told me repeatedly that I saved their life, that if the abuse had not come to light and counselling had not been provided, the next suicide attempt would have been the final one.

How close it came to that still scares me a little. It was pure luck that I had the training to realize what was happening and that I knew who to call.

I hope you check back and read this comment. Down the line, 2, 5, 8, whatever years later, I hope you have the opportunity to reconnect with your teacher and just let her know how it worked out. She'd like that, I'm sure.

Be well.

My Two Cents.

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Child Abuse Story From Merenia

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Child Abuse Story From Merenia