Child Abuse Story From Marie
by Marie
I was 7 years old when I first got a taste of the belt and its metal as I am writing this one, I am crying. My baby brother was only 6 months old, and I was an ecstatic sister, I held him in my arms and next thing I knew, I dropped him. He got a swelling in his forehead so I thought as a kid, I was already dead and I tried to cover up the swelling with some of his hair and baby powder. I didn't know what I was doing and when my father came home, he saw the lump and beat me with the belt. Years passed, we had a help in the house and he still would let me and my sister wash the dishes and help around the house, he would yell at us whenever we did something wrong, he would beat us for disobeying him, yell at us but he would put balm or ointment to the swelling of his own beat-ups. Whenever we disagree with him, he would shout at us, and would say how stupid, foolish and no-brain we are, me and my sister, most of the times, the way he treats my mother was also disgusting. When he's mad he would even throw anything he get his hands on to me, one incident was when I was 10 and me and my friends were playing go fish and due to my friend catting on me, I lost my temper and pulled her hairs out. My father was also at home, so when he knew of the situation he threw a water bottle at me. He was very strict, he didnt want me or my sister to go out with boys. I was in high school and I went on dates but secretly, without him knowing. I had boyfriends, but they wont last more than six months. He always threatened me that if he ever see a guy with me, he will shoot him dead. He would overreact if I had guy classmates I talked to, even grounded my cellphone coz one time a guy was calling me, I had no cellphone until I was senior in highschool. Then I met someone when I was already in 2nd year college. I fell in love with him at first sight and we flirted and sooner we hit it off. It was nothing serious, I dont let anyone in my heart and since my father is so paranoid, it was hard to go out with him, since he's also a public figure and many in our area knows him and our family. As a kid growing up, I was violent, I often get into fights, and was often called at guidance office. Until highschool, I was a bully, I beat up girls who got catty with me. Even my younger brother is a victim of my outburst, and when me and my younger sister would have fights, it was a brawl. My family portrait seems perfect, my father you can say is a philanthropist, and my mother is successful, but in reality we are miserable. Our home is a mess, we cannot talk back or fight for what we we really want with our father. I took up Marketing course because its what my parents wanted, not what I wanted. I went into his company because that was what he wanted, even though I am unhappy with my job. One time, me and my sister went home late from a birthday party, and he was waiting in the veranda and as soon as he saw me, his kick was flying towards me. I want to get another job that I would be happy at, but last time we talked it over, he called me ungrateful and almost hit me, but my mother intervened. My first love, the guy I met in college, stood by me, understood my situation, but lately, we are having fights and quarrels coz he wanted me to grow some set and stand up for what I want and not let my parents dictate my life, and I told him he dont understand, that I am 23 years old and as scared and helpless like a child who got beat up for doing something wrong, and would be called bad things when I talk back. My parents still dont know I have been going steady with this guy, and we have been together for 4 years now. I told him I am a coward and I am spineless and I said we should just break up coz I wont grow any spine for weeks or months. I want to get away from our house. I want to let my parents meet my loved one, but I am really a coward. I never trusted any guy, I have ADD and I am violent. I even beat up my boyfriend with a guitar one time I was drunk and we had a fight, and before I was close to crossing a busy street at night when we also had a fight. Because I felt no one loves me, and now he feels sick and tired of my situation and I think he feels I cannot stand up for him. I hope somebody tells me what to do, I will be losing the only love of my life because I cannot stand up to my abuser, my own father, who says he loves me but will do things who contradicts him being my father.  Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:  Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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