Child Abuse Story From M S

by Melinda
(Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada)

I was physically, emotionally, sexually and mentally abused. My mother started hurting me when I was a baby. She would pinch my legs when changing my diaper because I would squirm around too much for her. My father was a drug addicted alcoholic who was killed when I was five. I never knew him because my parents divorced when I was two. I found out about his murder when I was seventeen.

My mother, my grandma and her husband beat me for 14 years. I was a very weird child. I guess I would put it that way because I didn't know that the reason was the effects of my abuse. I started drugs and alcohol when I was eleven and became sexual at twelve. I was kicked out of daycare at six because I was doing sexual acts to another girl. I thought this was normal.

I have had seven suicide attempts between the ages of fourteen and seventeen. I am now turning twenty one, and still I struggle very badly with my past. But I'm in the process of making it better by getting help from professionals. I suffer from clinical and reoccurring depression and am on medication. I cannot begin to describe the pain I felt growing up, the pain I still feel. It is other people's nightmare and my reality.

My mother's boyfriends also abused me to a severe degree. I should also mention that my mother is mentally challenged with a brain capacity of a nine-year-old. She was told when she was sixteen that she should never have kids, as she would not be able to handle them.

I was a bed wetter for twelve years because of the trauma in my life. I was beat up for that as well, and called lazy and disgusting. I remember my mother would always let her boyfriends hurt me and she would never do anything about it. I was locked in a bedroom many times with the lights off (I was scared of the dark and the person knew this). I would scream and bang on the door. I would beg to be let out, but nobody would come. Then when they did come, I was forced to eat food that I thought was gross, like fish and tough meat. I couldn't eat tough meat because I would gag and choke, but they made me eat it anyway. I didn't want to eat fish because I didn't like the taste.

My mother ran away one time to a guy's place. She took me with her. Nobody knew where we were for two weeks. My mom and the guy would spend most of the time having sex, and he didn't want me bothering them, so he tied me to chairs and a bed with masking tape and ropes. The police finally found us because I guess I kept dialling 911 and hanging up so they finally came to investigate.

My mother was on welfare, so we were very poor growing up. Instead of paying bills and buying groceries, she would go out and by jewelery, makeup and clothes. There were many times our power and heat and phone were cut off. She was finally evicted when I was seventeen. I left home when I was sixteen.

When I was in grade two, I tried to tell the teacher that my mom was hurting me and instead of saving me from the abuse, she thought I was lying and phoned my mom to come down to the school. She told my mom what I had said, and of course my mom lied and denied it. I was scared as it was, and the stupid jerk didn't do anything. I had to go home with my mom where she beat the crap out of me for saying anything. When I say my mom beat me, I mean she really beat me up bad. She would kick me, slap me, punch my body, take my head and bang it on the stairs, scratch me, pinch me, slam me into walls and counters, and on top of that she touched my privates. I suffer from TMJ because my mom kicked me in the face and broke my jaw. It is still broken today, but not bad enough to get my jaw wired shut.

I have a dislocated jaw, and for treatment I need a splint and braces which is going to cost approximately $5000.00. I do not have this money and Victim Services won't help me because the incident happened too long ago. The police report has to be within one year and it happened ten years ago. This devastated me deeply, because I have to suffer from a dislocated jaw that was not my fault and nobody will help me.

My mother would only usually slap my face, but on one careless evening she scratched me. This was when I was in grade five. Finally I was saved, or so I thought. I told my teacher what happened and she phoned the cops. They phoned my mom and she had to come down to the police station. She confessed, which was awesome, but I had to go home with her that evening, which I think now is awful and uncalled for because she could have killed me that night.

I lived with my grandpa for two months. My grandpa is amazing. I love him so much. He was the only one in my family to never hurt me. After two months, I went home. My mom had stopped hurting me for about a month, and then the beatings started again until I was thirteen. I phoned the suicide hotline because I wanted to kill myself. They came and picked me up and took me to the hospital, where I was admitted. I then went to open custody for five months and was able to go home.

I dropped out of school and drank and did drugs for six weeks, then I realised I needed to be in school, so I went back. I was almost fourteen. Two weeks before Christmas, two weeks after my fourteenth birthday, my mother beat me so bad that I had to go to the hospital. They were going to put me on pain killers, but because of my drug addiction they couldn't, so I had to live with the pain. I ended up in foster care, then I went back home again. My mom stopped hitting me, but that still didn't stop my pain. I left home at sixteen and lived in foster care until I was eighteen.

I'm now in a relationship, and I have a four-year-old stepdaughter. I'm in my first year of the LPN program. I'm just now facing my inner demons and I'm a little scared, but I know that I will succeed in my future. It will be very good for me to let go and live my life positively. I've been off drugs for almost three years and off alcohol for four months. I have a psychiatrist and psychologist who are helping me tremendously. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.

Email addresses, phone numbers and home addresses in comments are strictly prohibited.