Child Abuse Story From M Hat

by M Hat
(New Mexico, USA)

Just me, M Hat:  
I am seventeen. I am a self-mutilator. I am stupid. I am fat and ugly. I am deaf in one ear. I am blind in one eye. I live by myself on the street, in shelters. All those sentences describe me, how I view myself and how I am.

My family thought it was okay to sell my body to make drug money. My grandma thought it was okay to beat me, even to go as far as beating me in the head. That's how I lost my hearing. My grandpa thought it was okay to use my body from the ages of 4-16. So did my uncle.

You may ask, "Where's her mom and dad?"

Well, Mom was high on alcohol and cocaine, causing me to be born with loss of vision, trouble holding things, severe tremors, and memory problems. It caused me to be born with palsy (not being able to move any body parts). So, my mom is in jail till I graduate . . . thank god (or somebody).

Dad was a rapist. He raped my mother. I never met him. I know, you're probably thinking I didn't need to know all of her history. But to understand my feelings, you have to know my situation. I honestly and truly wish that I was never born (not a death threat) just my thoughts. I couldn't commit suicide, too wimpy. I just wish I could have had another life. I look at people and think, why couldn't I be them. I guess I will end there. Not much of a story, but I had to get it out of my system.

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