Child Abuse Story From Lynn
by Lynn
When I was younger my dad was always working. He's a singer and was always away on tour or singing at random places throughout the country. When my dad came back from the tours, my mom and him would want to go out and have fun, so they would have the next door neighbor boy watch me. He also babysat our other next door neighbor's son. He was 16 or so and I was about 6 or 8...somewhere in there. I don't remember everything or if he molested me in any other way than what the one memory I have. I remember going over to the pool that we had. There was this deck connected to it. He took me under the deck and told me that if he showed me his I'd have to show him mine. So he proceeded in pulling down his pants, and I pulled down mine...he tried and tried to stick his head between my legs, doing whatever he could, but I wouldn't let him. I think I thought he was just "playing with me", being funny. I didn't really understand what he was doing, but he eventually stopped. I don't know if he actually touched me, but I know for a fact that he molested the next door neighbor's son. That's when he was caught. The next door neighbor was a state highway patrol man, so of course he saw the signs. When he did touch me though, I remember him telling me that "we were just playing, right? that's all that happened, so if your parents ask, we were just playing and having fun ok?" I didn't really understand what happened so of course I said "ok". Around 12 years later, I finally told my husband about that incident, and he told me that I should tell my parents. But I just can't bring up the nerve to do it. The guy who did this to me and a little boy has been in and out of prison since he was 18, for molesting the little boy, for robbery, etc. We found out later that his father has been behind bars for most of his life for molesting him and his sister. Even though I blame him for what he did, I have been able to forgive him. I am studying psychology and plan on being a child psychologist, so I understand that he was also suffering. He chose to act out on his pent up anger in a horrible and revolting way, but I pray that god helps him. I feel that I have moved on from this event, but I do have horrible anger issues, bipolar disorder and insomnia. I don't know if it is part of this event, but it is possible. Maybe I am repressing some other memory from that man, I don't know. I wanted to share my story so that everyone sees that even the smallest, and maybe some may say "insignificant" event, can make a large and horrible impact on your life. If you remember anything or have any memory you are hiding, let someone know. You may be in your 30's or 40's, but if you remember anything that may have hurt you in your childhood, let someone know: your husband, your best friend, somebody. You would not believe the amount of built up stress will be relieved afterwards.  Note from Darlene: I welcome you to follow me on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I hope to hear from you there!Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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