Child Abuse Story From Lyndsey G

by Lyndsey G
(England)

From as young as i can possibly remember until the age of about 13 i was sexually abused by my uncle - the husband of my Aunty (mams sister). I was a very shy and withdrawn child and have always suffered with confidence issues - i put all of this down to him and what follows.

He would expose himself to me , masturbate infront of me, get me to touch him and he would touch me. He got braver as the years passed. He even did it when my aunty and cousin were in the house. I always knew when it was going to happen, he would change from his jeans to jogging bottoms so that he could quickly pull them up if he heard someone coming.

i loved going to my auntys house but hated him being there. He worked on the oil riggs and i would try and only visit when he was not there. It did not work though, my mam would tell me to stop being silly, dont spoil her night out etc as she would have no baby sitter.

He took the lock off the bathroom door at their house so that he could walk in when i was in the bath, he would come in what was my bedroom at their house to visit me during the night.

i was continually told by him that it was my fault, that i would be in trouble if i told, that no one would believe me, that i was dirty and digusting. He ruled my childhood and teens. At the age of about 14 i had enough of it and it was tell or end my misery myself, i sat in the bath at home one night and wrote a letter to one of my teachers telling them what had happened, i put it in an envelope to take to school the following day. I pushed it under the door of the teachers office and ran. I was so scared i was going to be in so much trouble. I went back to the office to try and retrieve it but it was too late the teacher was there.

i got called to the teachers office not so long after that and asked about what i had wrote, one of the other teachers was there aswel as she was the "child protection" teachers. They put me in the library by myself while they called my mam and dad into school, told them what had happened then gave us a lift home. What happens after this is just as bad, all my mam said to me about this was "im not reporting it because your aunt (his wife) is not well and could not cope with it". So that was that, nothing happened apart from i did not have to go back to that house any more, but he lived straight opposite my school and would sit there every day watching me. My aunt was never even told about it and he was not confronted about it. i still felt as bad and as alone in the world as i did in the first place, i felt not believed.

at the age of 15 my dad died suddenly after an operation, he was my world. I was very close to my father and have never been close to my mam, she is anything but maternal. A few month later my mam threw me out and i had no where to go other than my cousins house (the son of THAT uncle). I got housed by the council a few month later but during that time had to put up with my uncle visiting the house, when my cousin was away at work (the Navy) my uncle would come and let himself in the house knowing i was there alone.

when i was 18 i found out my cousin had a baby girl, i knew i had to say something as if anything happened to her it would be my fault. So i told my aunty and she went off it with me, she even got the police onto me saying that she wanted me "done" for lying. I told the police what had happened, they took a statement and nothing else happened.

a few yrs later when i had my own son i again contacted the police with the support of my midwife, the police scared the living daylights out of me about what may / may not happen, they were not at all supportive and told me that it was just my word against his, no physical evidance and he would probs get away with it. I couldnt put myself through that for nothing so withdrew my statement.

in the last few yrs it has came out that it was not just me , there was 6 of us that i know of, my elder brother being one of them , he is 11yr older than me, if he said something it may never have happened to me or the others. I have suffered with depression my whole life because of this man, i hate him with everything. He destroyed my life. I had a bad relationship with my sons father, he was alcoholic and violent, when i ended the relationship the depression landed again, i was off work for a while. As a result my employment from the local authority where i had worked for 9yrs was ended. I could not pay my mortgage, my house was reposessed, and i was made bankrupt. its only in the last 2yrs (im now 29) that i have started to build my life back up. He still lives in the same house beside the same school living with my aunt.

my aunt and mam had an argument a few wks ago (i speak to neither of them - none of my family infact) and the issue was raised about me being a liar ! after all these yrs my brother eventually decided to tell my aunt what happened to him. she went to the doctors and told them, the GP wanted to contact the police but she would not let him. she is still living with him but the house is now for sale. I wish he were behind bars and shown for what he is, what he has done to me and the effect it still has on my life.

sorry its so long, just felt like i had to spill it all out.

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