Child Abuse Story from Lydia

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Child Abuse Story from Lydia

by Lydia
(Location Undisclosed)

I don't know if my story should be here because it's just couple of very small things compared to other child abuse stories.. But anywayI have to share this because it bugs me so much, I just want to forget things that happened to me, but I can't, memories keep coming back to me and sometimes I can't sleep because of them..
The first thing happened to me when I was 4 or 5 years old, I was playing with my older sister and she wanted to play a new game, of course I agreed to play, I adored my older sister then. I wanted to know how to play the game so she made me undress and started to touch me all over and she said that this is the game. I hated it, but for some reason I couldn't run away, she kept touching my private parts and I wanted to cry, I felt so ashamed and used. Afterwards she acted like nothing has happened and never mentioed or did it again. Sometimes I think I imagined the whole thing because she never ever showed any signs that anything happened, but I know it happened and I'm so sad about it. I still feel so ashamed and I just want the whole thing to go away.
The second thing happened when I was seven years old. I was in my other sister (older too) room, she was like my idol then and all the sudden she asked me if she could kiss me, I was really shocked and said no and then she asked would I agree if she'd pay me, again I answered no. She kept pressing me and eventually she kissed me and I wanted to cry and dissappear and she just kept kissing and it was so awful, I still want to cry when I think about it. When she stopped she gave me a dollar or so and I run away. She never mentioned or did it again either.

I haven't ever told about these things to anyone and I have no intentions to ever tell. I just can't speak about it to anyone. I hate both of my sisters for doing that to me. I keep wondering if they even remember how they ruined me (my dad ruined me too, he was a very violent and scary person, but it's another story). It's very hard for me to trust anyone.. Those things don't leave me alone, I just want them to go away.. I hate myit so much, I'm so ashamed about those things and I feel so sad all the time.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story from Lydia

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Apr 21, 2011

Lydia:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Sometimes when we bring our memories to the light of understanding we are better able to cope with them. Yes, your sisters violated you. They too were children, and though children can be sex offenders, when they are, they themselves have been sexually abused somewhere along the way. They often don't know better. They often do to other children what's been done to them. That doesn't change the fact that you were abused by them, but perhaps it will help you see things in a different way. You said your father is violent and that you're afraid of him, so talking to him is likely out of the question. Please consider speaking to someone like a trusted teacher or a school counsellor, someone who can help you with what you're dealing with now. And consider contacting one of the hotlines listed on my stories page, depending on where you live, in order to talk to someone confidentially. You didn't deserve to be abused, Lydia. You most definitely deserve help for the fact that you were. And just for the record, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing at all. There is no shame in being the victim of abuse. Ever. Always remember that. Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Apr 22, 2011

Always believe in your self: Get help: You'll be fine
by: maurice

There is no shame being the victim of abuse Lydia Very empowering words from Darlene: Who sure knows there is truth in her statement: She was a victim (real) but she can rightly say there is no shame attached: Lydia you told the truth and what you older sisters did to you: Siblings as abusers have cropped up a few times in recent weeks here on Darlene's safe have site: Teenage abuse of children equally so: I know from the few experiences I had myself as a child that is (could) have been the case when I was growing up: Even though all of us were around the same age when we went to to secret hide-outs and undressed and nakedly chased each other about and touching each other up etc: Innocent fun as we thought then but there were a few much older ones than us and they could have abused us: they did exactly the same as your sisters did to you: But because we all were so innocent it is a vague memory but it is still there: I am certain once you get counselling or speak to someone you trust it too will become a vague memory and you can get on with living a normal real life to the full: Thank you for sharing, with the comment Darlene gave you I learned alot: Hi Lydia, she's speakes to you from a woman's heart, act on her loving, caring, concerned words they will empower you as her pain of abuse empowered her to be the great woman, person now in all of her visitors lives here on her site: we are a big family who can empatise with each other from our hearts speaking our feelings in the comments we write: Knowing Darlene is a professional relationship Lady and a great steward of her site: Her vision: Lydia, you'll be fine, start today haveing a healthy mind in a healthy body: yes I hope you don't be thinking laziness have I ever offended you? if you have Ms Lydia now is the time to correct it: I want you to get out and about being active and alive: Taking part in Team Sports: sporting and cultural activities with your own age and gender: You'll be a new thinking person within weeks: Oh yes Lydia, you'll make real and natural friends, you'll have aquainatances who'll make you feel good, make you laugh and smile when you cross path's: Have one/two real friends (girls) your own age who'll listen, share, trust, care, love value you for the great and wonderfullly gifted/tallented young thinking adult that you have come accross being here, in what you wrote: Get some form of counselling and all will be put in perspective: Whetehr your sisters feel they have done you an injustice matters least: You be happy, and live your life to the full each day you wake up:

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Child Abuse Story from Lydia

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Child Abuse Story from Lydia