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Child Abuse Story From Luka

by Luka
(New Jersey, USA)

Almost Every Type of Abuse: 
I can pretty much relate to a lot child abuse types. All my life I've faced one or another from time to time. It may be hard to believe that someone could have been abused in almost every way and turn out into a kind gentle type. I have almost no mean bone in my body.

I completely find hitting children bad in almost every way. If they're really being bad like scratching or hitting then it's understandable to gently hit them. But anyway, enough about that. You see, when I was very little I can faintly remember things my mother did to me, but they are forever scarred into my head.

I remember her yelling at me for no real reason. She would yell at me for playing when I was a child. As well as laugh or cry around her. I have no brothers or sisters either, so I was all alone throughout my childhood. To top it off, I had no friends. I believe it was because of her.

She drives people away from me today too. Until 3rd grade, no one would hang out with me at all. I was abused by my peers in that way. As a child, I felt very depressed, but I wouldn't show it in school. My mother made me think I was a mistake, because she would yell at me constantly and blame me for things.

I became a very quiet person at an early age. My mother would keep me basically in the house all day long. And the only thing I had to do was watch tv or sleep all day long. I had no game systems or anything, because my mother wouldn't buy any of them. I have never gone to malls before. Or beaches or even the movie theatre. I still can't go to any of them. My mother won't take me. I have to buy my own game systems from income tax money. My mother would watch pornos in front of me when I was little. She walks me to my high school every single day.

It's really annoying. She drives me crazy everyday. 3 years and I can finally move out of the house.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Luka" are at the last link below.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

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Child Abuse Story From Luka

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Apr 19, 2008
For some support...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

If you're feeling alone and don't have the support of other family members or friends, Luka, contact Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Apr 21, 2008
Poor treatment
by: Hayley

that is terrible Luka. Does your mom have any friends? IF not it seems that she is taking this out on you by stopping you from having any. It must be hell to have to go to school at what ever age you are, walking with your mom when other kids younger than you get to walk to school with their friends. Hang on in there, and keep posting. It's horrible to not be able to make friends for one reason or another. your mom was and still is totally out of order. Are there any clubs you could join inside school hours so you can still have a hobby and not have to justify yourself to anyone?

Good luck and hang on in there mate.

Apr 21, 2008
You deserve better
by: Linda Tidwell

Luka, your mom sounds like she has a problem. It must be horrible to have been made a prisoner in your own home. Don't think it is your fault for her behavior, she sounds like she needs some kind of professionel help. Call DHR and Child Protective Services to help you. You'll be helping yourself and your mom as well.You deserve a normal teenage life and it isn't happening with your mother. Think about it.

May 23, 2008
New experiences...
by: Elaine R

Dear Luka,

It's sad that you are being allowed only such limited experiences in life. Children need to be able to learn, develop and grow through various life experiences as they get older. To truly become a balanced individual in your own right, you need to be able to develop your independence and self-confidence. You need to be able to try out new things, with your family, with your friends, and alone. Happy, well-rounded adults will have been able to experience a whole range of new challenges, and will have developed strengths and abilities through these which have successfully prepared them for adult life.

Perhaps it is hard, being a parent, and your mum is finding things difficult? She may have little experience of her own - after all, when you have a child, you do not get a "maintenance book" or "manual" with it! Parents have to learn too, take on new experiences, and make changes. Some find this VERY hard. It sounds like your mum may be finding it hard?

BUT she is still wrong, and what she is doing may damage YOU in the long term, if it cannot be stopped and her behaviour changed. Your mum seems to be a very anxious parent, and needs constantly to keep an eye on you. While this may be done with good intentions, it is also, compared to experiences of other kids you've seen, excessive. Your mum risks becoming "clingy" and her behaviour verges on paranoid.

If you DO still have a good relationship with mum, and she is someone you can talk to, try telling her how you feel. It sounds silly, but she may never even have realised! You need to be calm, but firm if you do this; and give your mum chance to tell you why she behaves this way. But DON'T accept excuses. Tell her you need to learn responsibility for yourself as you get older. Try maybe to give her examples of things you can do both to demonstrate your growing independence, but also to earn her trust. If you both take small steps together, then things may change. Remember, too, that some parents smother their children because they are scared of "losing them" and dreading the day when the kid leaves home. Let your mum know you care, and always will.

If things really don't look like improving, or if it looks like your mum has some kind of problems that cause her to behave this way (e.g. mental illness, divorce, bereavement), then you need to find someone else you can talk to. I do not hear you talking of a father figure in your life. Maybe this is an issue? But you need to have someone to relate to, and someone to be a role model for the adult you wish to become. Friends' parents, teachers, youth group leaders, other relatives... try to find someone you identify with, and maybe they can open your eyes to different experiences. Maybe they can help you grow and develop in a way your mum cannot. After all, life is about meeting many different people, and learning from them all.

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