Child Abuse Story From Louise2

by Louise
(Brisbane )

I am the girl that sits in the corner of the room and doesn’t say anything unless spoken to. I used to be out going and bubbly I lost that and I am only just feeling that I am getting it back. I was Emotionally, fiscally, and sexually abused. I have never been able to remember the time my abuse started but that last recorded was 12 years ago. Around 9 months when my mum started dating a new guy. He would make me go into his room every morning and say daddy wants cuddles. Little to my young knowledge I didn’t know any better I had not been taught that it was bad for someone to touch me but I new it was wrong. He would play with me and because I was so little and shy I wouldn’t say or do anything I would just close my eyes and waited for the time when I was allowed to leave. He soon became my step dad.

He was mean to me all the time I would say something wrong or tell my mother just to wait until I had finished something then I would go on to what she had asked me and he would hit me, saying I should do as what I was told. He would make me pull my pants down and hit me so hard I was unable to sit down for days on end. He would give me presents and take me out all the time. After a few years and a sibling in my life my mum and him broke up leaving me alone. I thought it was the best I didn’t have to go through him playing and getting angry at me everyday. That only thing I missed was him taking me out giving me presents. one day he came ova and told my mum he wanted to take me out for the day. I wanted to go I was to little to understand all I thought was that he wanted to give me movies and take me out. After him arguing with my mum she let me. He picked me up and took me back to his place. From this day I still remember every little detail of the house I remember the car the move he put on what every room looked like and the sheet he used to cover ova me. He Put on a move and told said what do you want up or down. I didn’t say anything I had no idea what he meant. After me being confused and scared he yelled and I said down. He did the worse thing that has ever happened in my life. I felt sick and scared. Still to this day I don’t know what would have happened if I said up. After that I new something was wrong I felt gross from it sick even. 2 weeks later he wanted me ova again. When mum asked me I went quiet and just said no. she asked me what the mater was and I told her everything. She was so upset and cried. We went too caught but ran off my mum was scared that it would be to hard for me. The sad thing was my mum had no idea.

I found a letter in her draw saying everything that I told her and there was a something I told her when I was very little that she didn’t think anything of, after finding that I feel like my mum was not paying enough attention to me. She still doesn’t. it has been 12 years I am now 18. The signs of sexual abuse are showing the long term effects. The depression, anxiety, I find it hard to trust people mostly men I have trouble being compassionate to my boyfriend (going on 3 years) and trusting him when I know I should be. Abuse has rewind my life. My family have swept everything under the rug. It makes me feel like I have done something wrong. Something to be ashamed off. I know it is not but I was to help people I want to be there for children like me. But it is hard because people judge you. So next time you judge someone think again because it doesn’t feel nice. I am still trying to cope with what has happened to me but I feel like I never will get over it. I am that girl that sits in the corner and says nothing.

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