Child Abuse Story From Liz1

by Liz
(USA)

I dont remember when it started but I remember every hit I got from my mom. My aunt told me a story when I was about 4 years old, she said that whenever my mom would start yelling at me for every little thing that I did, I would always cover my mouth. The reason for me covering my mouth was because even as a little kid I knew that when she was mad she would always slap my mouth. And whenever I didn't want to eat my soup, she threw it at me just because I didn't like it. I remember this one time, I had to do a Spanish project and I wanted to do it by myself and after I told my mom that i didnt need any help, she didnt listen. She started helping me ignoring what i was saying. Then I started crying because she wouldnt listen and thats when she got really mad. She started yelling at me and chased me around the house screaming and threatening me. I can remember what I was feeling, the paper that I had on my hand shook roughly because I was shaking in fear. I was terrified. She would tell me how im such a disgrace, tell me that i wasnt her daughter, or that she wished that someone would take me away. I got kicked out of the house twice when i was thirteen. I got hit by a belt for accidentally losing some money. There was this one time, I was in the 8th grade and we got into a huge fight because my dad called a child abuse company to come to talk to me at school. She punched me on my arm, hard enough that my chest started hurting the next day, and slapped me across the face, hard enough to make blood come out of my mouth. And then the next day, she grabbed me and pushed me down on the floor and then told me to kneel down and she would get in my face and scream at me implying how this was all my fault and then she kicked me out.

I was hanging out with some friends outside on my street and i asked my mom if they can come to our house to hang out and she said no and asked me where i was and i told her i was at the corner of our street with some guys. Then I saw her coming down the road in her car and she told me to get in, after I said my good byes. I got in the car and thats when the yelling started. Why? For not telling her where I was or why I didnt tell her that I was with guys and screamed at me telling me how Im doing horrible in math when she knows im trying my best but doesnt seem to notice that. I yelled back at her, standing up for myself and I told her how rude she was and how annoying it was when she screams at me for every little thing that I did, as if I wasn't good enough. She got more mad and slapped my arm and then grabbed a snow brush and hit my arm and my wrist twice with it, leaving a huge red mark. Again, wishing that someone would take me away. And she wonders why I never communicate with her or be nice to her or tell her how much I care about her or respect her. How can I respect someone if they havent shown any respect to me?

I've always wondered if I was ever going to be good enough for anybody. It almost seems like every little thing that I did was always the wrong thing to do. And she's always claiming that she loves me and is only 'disciplining' me so I can learn. But so far... I haven't learned anything.

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