Child Abuse Story From Lily
by Lily
(Bristol, UK)
I am now 40 years old and happily married with 2 children. My parents are both dead and my sister is mentally unstable.
Ever since the age of about 11, my father would abuse me. He was an alcoholic and would continuously go out with girlfriends (even though he was married to my mum at the time) and come back really late at night. This was when the abuse usually happened. He would abuse Mum as well. She did whatever he said and never stuck up for me or my sister.
My mum was totally useless. I was the youngest in the family. My sister, who was 9 years older than me, was the strong one in the family. She would always protect me and took whatever my father did to her to prevent me from being hurt. Ever since I can remember, he would hit, punch, kick and sexually abuse her. He did this to Mum too. But my sister never let him touch me. I had been hit by him, but she wouldn't let him sexually abuse me the way he had abused her and Mum.
When I was about 10, my mum committed suicide. I remember not ever feeling upset that she was gone. She had never shown any love towards me or cuddled me like a normal mum. My sister was more of a mum to me then she ever was. I remember feeling totally angry that she had left me and my sister with him, alone. Mum had been useless, but at least she'd been there.
My sister took even more abuse from him, and then he began to punch and kick me as well. I would go to school, and when we had sport, I remember feeling totally embarrassed when I had lots of little bruises all over my stomach and legs where he had pinched me again and again. The one time that he had given me a black eye, my sister pretended to take me to school, as she did every day, but then we went back home and she bathed my sore eye and promised that one day we would leave.
Looking back now, she was so strong for us. She was amazing to have been hurt so badly just to protect me from him. When she was 23 years old she left for a while because she wanted to get away. She wanted to take me with her, but he wouldn't let her. She went away to university, but promised she would back to get me from him. I cried. I ran away the night she left. I had no idea where to go, so I just hid in the shed. He found me there about 5 hours later, and he was seriously angry. That was the night that he sexually abused me. I cried and he hit me. I howled and he punched me. This continued for about 2 months. Every day he would call into school and say I was ill and couldn't come in, and then he would sexually abuse me, hit me, punch me and then lock me in the cupboard.
I became a sort of servant to him. He would make me cook and clean for him. One day I cooked something wrong, I don't really remember, and he punched me and locked me in the cupboard. I heard my dad let someone in the door and then I heard the shot of a gun. My sister let me out of the cupboard. I saw my dad lying on the floor, bleeding. We left and went to the police. My sister was taken into custody and questioned. I was asked so many questions that it's hard to remember them now.
Eventually, my sister got cleared of the charges as she was said to be mentally unstable and the attack had been in 'self-defence'. I was put into foster care until I was 18, and then got a job. My sister was put into full time care because of her mental health as a result of the trauma.
My life was so disrupted by the whole thing. My sister's life even more – her childhood was completely destroyed. I have been able to move on and put it behind me. But I still hate my parents for what they did to her and how they completely destroyed her life. She was the nicest and friendliest person alive, but she's no longer that way. I am all she has, and yet she barely knows who I am now.
I cry a lot, and just retelling this story is horrible. I now go to schools and share my story with other children. I let children in schools know that if something similar is going on then they MUST tell someone. This is the huge mistake that me and my sister made. We were ashamed and we shouldn't have been.
Thank you for reading my story and any comments would be gladly received.
Lily
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