Child Abuse Story From LI
by Ll
(Location Undisclosed)
Im from a christian based backround. I had a good relationship with my mom and dad and sisters and brothers. I am the youngest child, now almost twenty with two beautiful little boys. I am engaged, but also divorced from a previous marriage from when i was 16. My father was abusive as well as my mom, but thats another story.
The abuse started when i was six years old, almost seven. My family moved across the state and we were temporarely living with my aunt and uncle and their two boys. Their oldest boy, I will call "A" was in his teens but i cant remember exactly how old he was. We had been staying with them for about a week when one night it was bedtime my parents told my sister to sleep with them. I thought it was weird because we always slept together but tonight i was to sleep alone on the pull out bed in the den. Every one went to bed and i fell asleep after a little while. A little while later i woke up with my cousin A spooning me and my pants pulled down, his penis in me behind. I didnt say anything at first, he was whispering in my ear that he loved me and weird/random things you would probably say to a spouse when making love. I asked him what are you doing? and he replied, nothing im just getting a cup of water. He then went to the kitchen and got the water and i pulled up my undies. He came back a few moments later and ripped my panties off and shoved himeself inside me. I began to cry and scream and he just kept going. He then got off and turned over and forced me on top of him, i tried to run to my parents, but then he put a kitchen knife to my throat, then my side and told me "ill f***ing kill you you little c**t, all you f***ing do is tease me!"
I did as i was told until he pushed me off and walked away. There was blood everywhere. I ran to my parents room and tried to open the door but, again strangely, they had locked it. they had never locked a door before. I screamed and cried and pounded on the door, and my dad yelled "shut the f**k up and go back to bed!" I yelled back to him "but daddy A hurt me, he hurt me and im bleeding, please daddy help me im scared.!!" My mom and my dad yelled at me to go back to bed and my dad said i dont give a f**k. i went back to bed and cried myself to sleep. a few hours later i woke up naked and in a bathtub, my mom telling me i had a nightmare. I went and followed her back to the den and watched her clean up the blood the best she could and flipped over the mattress. she looked at me and said "dont tell anyone, dont make waves in the family."
later that week we went to california for vacation at disney.
when we came back, we moved into our own home where A stayed often and the abuse kept happening. later down the road i became pregnant with his baby and my parents sent me away to give birth to my daughter and give her up for adoption. My beautiful baby girl. Most people hate the babies they get from abuse, I love her more than anything. She is my precious baby, my gift from God. It showed me that even miraculous things can come out of such hurt!
My life was terrible for a while, but eventually I moved on. He never got in trouble.
The part that kills me know is knowing he has kids. He has two beautiful daughters and his significant others has two sons. Had two sons is more like it. Last weekend while A was giving the two year old boy a bath, He drowned. Do i believe that? Not one bit. ***Lord please forgive me for not doing more with what happened to me, Forgive me for not saving that baby boy.*** He was the same age as my oldest son.
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