Child Abuse Story From Lexx

by Alex
(Canada)

I originally found this site while researching child abuse for a paper I had to write in my psychology course at the college. For some reason I felt compelled to put my story up here.

In the summer of 2005 I was 13 years old and my neighbours wife went to Germany to visit some relatives for the summer. Since my neighbour worked backshift, and was home alone all summer, he asked if I would come over once a week to sweep, vacuum, wash dishes, etc. if he paid me. Being a kid and eager to make some money I said yes.

Things started out innocently enough. Every Monday I would ride my bike over in the morning and he would let me in. I would do what he wanted to do, then go home. A couple weeks after I started working there, he asked me if I would make his bed for him. When I got to his bedroom he pushed me on the bed and began kissing me. Please keep in mind I was 13 and this man was 52 at the time.

I was to scared to say anything and he told me it was time to go home, but he paid me an extra $5 and told me not to tell my parents. I didn't. The next week I went back but I told him I wouldnt make his bed for him. When he heard my refusal, he picked me up and carried me to his room where he laid me on the bed and proceded to take all my clothes off.

I can honestly say I tried to block out the rest for years, but it never worked. After he took my clothes off he took his off and told me he wanted to feel my body. The next thing I knew, all I felt was pain and he was slamming into me and grunting. when he finished, he pulled his clothes on and wiped me down, then told me to go home.

This went on for the entire summer. Every Monday I would go to "clean the house" and every Monday I would get raped. I never told my parents, they still don't know.

Eventully, I stopped going there and got into self mutilation. By the time high scool hit, I had attepmted suicide once, and had scars all over my body from cutting and burning. It was in grade 11 that I met my current boyfriend. We've been dating for 3 years now and he has helped me clean up my act a lot. I told him what happened and he accepts it as part of my past, and as part of who I am.

I've managed to deal with my problem fairly well over the last couple years. I still have some problems with the man that did this. If I see him in a store, he corners me and tries to make twisited innuendos, but all I had to do is look him straight in the eye and he backs off. The only other problems is that I have major problems with rape scenes in movies, or hearing about child abuse on the news.

Beyond that, I see it as something negative, that has made me into a much stronger person today then I might have been otherwise.

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