Child Abuse Story From Lexi1

by Lexi
(London, England, United Kingdom)

My stepdad ruined my life: 
I was 12 years old when it all started. My abuser was my stepdad. My mom married him a few months before the nightmare began.

I was just sitting there minding my own business when suddenly my stepdad came from behind me and began to fondle my 'growing' breasts. He chuckled as he did it. I didn't like it. I wanted to tell him to stop but I was so afraid of him. I finally got up to leave and he grabbed me by my arm and pushed me to the wall and undid my shirt and continued to touch me. I began to cry. He continued to laugh at me. When he finally stopped he told me not to tell anyone about it otherwise there would be trouble.

The next time it happened to me I was in the bathroom getting undressed to get into the shower and I had forgotten to lock the door behind me. I began to undress and got as far as taking my jeans off when suddenly I saw my stepdad's reflection in the mirror, laughing. I quickly got a towel and put it around me. My stepdad came inside and locked the door behind him and walked towards me, telling me to continue. I didn't want to. My stepdad took his belt off his jeans and told me if I didn't do as he said I would get it. I cried as I did as I was told. I was fully naked then. My stepdad came towards me and put his hand on my bottom, squeezing it and laughing at me at the same time. I cried and begged him to stop. He didn't listen. He told me to get in the shower and watched as I stood there with the water running, crying my eyes out. I turned my back on him for a little while and continued crying. Suddenly I felt him touch me again. I turned around to find him in the shower with me, naked. He began to touch me everywhere and forced me to touch his penis. He also kissed me on my mouth a lot. Suddenly we heard the front door slam. My mom had come home from work. My stepdad ordered me in a threatening voice to stay in there for a while and said I'd better not tell anyone. I felt so dirty after he'd gone that I continued to wash myself for some time.

After that horrible event, it got worse. My stepdad began coming into my room very late at night and began to rape me. This continued for a quite a while. At 14 I got pregnant with his baby. I didn't know I was pregnant until I began throwing up. I'd gone to see the doctor and was told I was pregnant. I begged him not to tell my mom. He didn't tell my mom - but he told my stepdad. My stepdad forced me to get an abortion and even came with me when it happened. After the abortion my stepdad told me if I ever told anyone about it he would really hurt me.

I got pregnant again by him a few more times - the third time, I found out too late and it was too late to get an abortion. My stepdad forced me to tell my mom that I had slept with an older boy. My mom, being quite old fashioned, was disgusted by me after hearing what I did. She couldn't even look at me, which seemed to thrill my stepdad. I wanted to tell her the truth but my stepdad kept giving me evil looks every time I glanced in his direction.

Six months into the pregnancy my mom decided it would be best to send me away until after I had the baby and give it up. In some ways I was ok with that because it meant I could be away from him, but I was not ok with it at the same time because I wanted to be with my mom. So I was forced to leave the house and into a home where I was to have the baby and give it up right after.

Giving up my baby was the hardest thing I ever had to do. After I gave the baby up I went back home. My mom told me I wasn't welcome here anymore. I was only 16 years old, where else was I going to go?

I eventually did find a place to stay - long story cut short I stayed in a homeless shelter, made very good friends with someone working there who I soon moved in with and who helped me get a job. I'm now 18, and have gone back to high school. I wanna go to University and make something of my life. My stepdad may have ruined part of my life, but I'll be damned if I let him ruin the rest of it. I hate him, and I hate my mother even more for abandoning me when I needed her the most.

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