Child Abuse Story From Lena

by Lena
(Location Undisclosed)

I was probably about 5 years old when my father started sexually abusing me. All I can remember growing up was my parents always telling to never tell them no. I know that my mom didn't mean it in the sense that I took it, but I was always an obedient child and did everything my parents told me. I was eight when my father was finally stopped and sent to prison. My mom asked me twice if he was messing with me, and she didn't do anything until she asked the second time and I finally told her.

After my father was sent to prison we moved to a different state and my mom sank into a deep depression, so for a few years we lived off the 300 dollars that my grandma sent us and whatever food stamps we could get. I became the parent to my two siblings, one who is my twin and the other a year younger than me. While my mom and I have a pretty close relationship, she has always treated me like I was the parent and she was the victim. I know she has her own problems from abuse she suffered in her own past, but part of me still resents that she left me at a time when I needed her most.

We still saw our father after he got out of prison because our mom felt that we needed to know our dad, but I think it was really because he would give her money whenever she needed it. After we moved back into our home state and into another school, Mom finally got another job, but she still kept us isolated from other people. She let my brother go out with friends and do whatever, but my sister and I were never allowed to go anywhere.

I have grown up to be a socially isolated person, and I don't know how to deal with people very well, but as I get older I'm learning to better cope with what happened. My mom still relies on me for just about everything, but slowly I'm trying to pull away from her because I have never been able to have my own life.

I'm in college right now and just trying to get a degree so that maybe I can move somewhere and try to start a better life for myself. The hardest thing that I'm trying to get over is my unease with the opposite sex. I have had one boyfriend, but nothing came of it because we both were virgins and I just can't relax around men. The only man that's been in my life all of the years is my brother, and sometimes I'm not comfortable being close to him.

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