Child Abuse Story From Lauren V
by Lauren V
(Indiana, USA)
The Everyday Battle:
My parents divorced when I was in the 5th grade because my mom was allegedly having an affair with a family friend of ours. Just a couple months after the divorce was finalized, we moved out of our house into a smaller one and the man she had apparently had the affair with started spending a lot of time with us. It was automatically clear to my sister and I how important he was to our mother. So being the people pleaser that I am, I tried hard to become close with him. I laughed with him, confided in him, and treated him just like a father. Soon enough, he had moved into the house. I can't remember when exactly the abuse started, but it did. At this point, I was a little older than 11 years old. I let the abuse continue for about a year or so before I even said anything, and I don't think I would have even opened my mouth had it not been for a conversation about sex that I had with him. He was planning on sneaking into my room and having his way with me. The thought scared me so much that I immediately told a friend of mine. Being the scared 11 year old girl she was, she ran to the nearest teacher and confessed what had been happening to me. Needless to say, I was excused from classes for the rest of the day. While my classmates were learning basic algebra, I was meeting with police and child protective services. Later that night, my mom was called into school where she met with my principal and the workers who were put on my case. Not even an hour later, my mother and I were climbing into our minivan on our way home. Two weeks later, child protective services and the police came to see my parents. I wasn't allowed at the meeting so I had no idea what was being said. I was sure something would be done. I would be protected while he got help. But that didn't happen. Two hours later, my help and saviors walked out of my front door and I never heard from them again. The abuse slowed down but then picked right back up again. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as it was before, but let's face it, the damage had already been done. We moved out of state, leaving my sister behind so she could remain at her college. It was just me, my mom, and my now stepdad.
Fast forward 4 years. I moved out of the house and went to college two hours away. It was when I got to school that I got the help that I really needed. I joined a support group and went to therapy twice a week for a semester and a half. During that time, I learned a lot about myself and what the abuse did to me. I'm not normal. Unfortunately, I'll have to suffer for a really long time. I have problems being intimate. I lack confidence and self-esteem. I suffer from depression and have contemplated suicide a lot. (although I promise I'll never do it.) I suck at trusting the people around me. And I have a huge fear of being alone. Not like alone for the night, but alone in life. Not having anyone I trust to turn to.
If there's anything I've learned, I've learned that everyday is a battle. The trick is to remember that you're fighting for yourself because you deserve to be normal. You deserve happiness, and most of all, you deserve to live your life free of abuse.
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