Child Abuse Story From Lauren A
by Lauren A
As a child, I have undergone both verbal and sexual abuse for a few years--verbally from a neighbor, sexually from three of my four brothers and a cousin. The abuse ended when it was discovered by my father. I went into therapy with several people, although none of them ended spectacularly. Little did they know, at the time I was too young to really understand what I had done wrong, and so no symptoms came up. However, then I began to mature, and to think. I am now thirteen, and still suffer horribly from the symptoms. Although my mother cares very much for me and loves me, she is blind to what I am going through. Almost daily, I face the internal war against suicide, the easy way out, as well as self-mutilation. I have not injured myself yet, but have come close many times. I have now resorted to creating fake vomit to get out of going to school, because I cannot bear to face all of my peers--they are just too perfect, unlike me. Of late, I have self-diagnosed myself as depressed and mildly schizophrenic, because no one seems to notice these things at all except for me. I hear voices telling me that i'm ugly and horrible and fat, and I see shadows and shapes that aren't there. I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless, and like me, insignificant and unliked, that I will never go far in life. So why live?  Note from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.I hope you'll follow me on:  Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.
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