Child Abuse Story From Laura

Child Abuse Story From Laura

by Laura
(United Kingdom)

Until I was 10 years old my life had been very happy. I lived with my mum and my little sister, who I adored. One day, my uncle was babysitting me and my sister while my mum went out with her boyfriend. We had been watching TV for about an hour when my uncle told my little sister it was time for her to go to bed. He carried her upstairs, and I continued to watch TV in the living room. I ended up going upstairs to use the bathroom, and heard a noise coming from my sister's room. I walked up to the door and heard my uncle telling her that it'd be a secret. I didn't know what they were talking about so I opened the door a little. I saw my uncle standing there naked, trying to get my little sister to touch his penis. I opened the door fully. He turned around to face me before telling me to go away.

I refused, and said I wasn't going anywhere. I remember being so terrified, but I wasn't going to let him hurt her, I couldn't. He said that it was none of my business and that he could do what he wanted. I have no idea what came over me, but I walked up to him and started touching him like he wanted my sister to. I remember him smiling at me and he followed as I walked out of my sister's room and back downstairs. I just didn't want him to hurt her. When we got back into the living room, he sat down next to me and started to stroke me. I tried to move and get away, but I couldn't. He said he could always go back upstairs again; I couldn't let that happen. He told me to touch him again, which I did, as well as sucking him like he wanted. I just couldn't let him go back upstairs and hurt my sister. Eventually I let him undress me and he had sex with me. The whole time he said that I must like it, otherwise I would have stopped him. I was so confused. I wanted him to stop, but I couldn't let him hurt my sister.

After this time, it happened every time he came to babysit, which seemed to be more and more now that my mum had a new boyfriend. She spent all her time with him, leaving us with my uncle. After about 6 months, my mum and her boyfriend split up, and I was so happy. My uncle didn't have to babysit us anymore.

Six months later, she got another boyfriend. She said my uncle was coming to babysit again. I remember breaking down and crying so much when she said that. I was begging her not to leave us with him. She asked me what was wrong and I tried to explain what had happened. She called me a whore and a slut. She said I had led him on, asked him to do it by leading him from my sister's room. She said that he probably hadn't wanted to do anything to her and I had given him the idea in the first place, so it was my fault. I was devastated. I thought she'd stop it. I thought she'd be pleased I'd protected my sister, but she didn't care. As soon as she left, my uncle was at it again. I just wanted to die, but I couldn't let him hurt my sister, so it went on until I left home at 18 and took my sister with me to live at my friend's house.

My mum tried to get me arrested for kidnapping my sister, but I told the police what had happened and they arrested my uncle. But they let him off because they didn't have enough evidence. My sister had to go back to my mum. My sister came around to my place all the time, and every time my mum went out, we arranged she'd come and stay with me so my uncle had nothing to do with her. When she turned 16 a year later, she moved in with me.

Now she still lives with me and we're happy. I remember what happened every day and feel guilty for not stopping it, for letting him do it. Although I knew what he was doing was wrong, it always seemed like he was wrong for trying to do it to my sister. I still feel like I deserved it, by leading him on. I know this isn't true, but I can't help how I feel.

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Child Abuse Story From Laura

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Dec 19, 2007

You CAN change how you feel . . .
by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

If you change how you think, you change how you feel, Laura. As long as you continue to tell yourself that you led your uncle on, you'll continue to blame yourself. Your logical mind is telling you that you didn't deserve to have your uncle molest you, while your emotional mind is trapped in self-blame and guilt. As a child, you were placed in an impossible situation; a situation that no child should ever be put in. Your uncle took advantage of you and your deep-seeded need to keep your sister safe from harm. Your mother abandoned and betrayed you when she called you a slut and a whore and when she refused to protect you. And by the way, what she said was completely absurd! Your uncle was the adult, you were the child. It doesn't matter what you did; you have no responsibility in that. He's the one who must be held accountable. Commend yourself for shielding your sister and stop telling yourself you deserved to be molested, because you didn't deserve to be sexually assaulted by a sex offender. If this was your sister who had done the safeguarding instead of you, would you be blaming her? I doubt it. So why wouldn't the same rules apply to you?

I strongly urge you to seek out some form of counselling, Laura. You need to sort out the emotional trauma, as well the feelings of betrayal, abandonment, guilt and self-blame. Give yourself what no one else would. THAT'S what you deserve.

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Dec 19, 2007
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Submitted by: Darlene Barriere - webmaster

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If you change how you think, you change how you feel, Laura. As long as you continue to tell yourself that you led your uncle on, you'll continue to blame yourself. Your logical mind is telling you that you didn't deserve to have your uncle molest you, while your emotional mind is trapped in self-blame and guilt. As a child, you were placed in an impossible situation; a situation that no child should ever be put in. Your uncle took advantage of you and your deep-seeded need to keep your sister safe from harm. Your mother abandoned and betrayed you when she called you a slut and a whore and when she refused to protect you. And by the way, what she said was completely absurd! Your uncle was the adult, you were the child. It doesn't matter what you did; you have no responsibility in that. He's the one who must be held accountable. Commend yourself for shielding your sister and stop telling yourself you deserved to be molested, because you didn't deserve to be sexually assaulted by a sex offender. If this was your sister who had done the safeguarding instead of you, would you be blaming her? I doubt it. So why wouldn't the same rules apply to you? I strongly urge you to seek out some form of counselling, Laura. You need to sort out the emotional trauma, as well the feelings of betrayal, abandonment, guilt and self-blame. Give yourself what no one else would. THAT'S what you deserve.

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Feb 07, 2008

I understand
by: LMC

Laura, what you did to protect your little sister was so brave! I know you feel guilty about doing it, but you saved her from what you had to endure. Your mother is hardly a real mother. She is a coward for not protecting you and for putting her own needs first.

I had a similar experience, my sister who was 4 years younger than me, had my cousin, 10 yrs older, come to babysit us and began to molest me. I was like you, I preferred that to his hurting my little sister. She was only 4 and I was 8.

When I see my cousin now, I am not afraid of him! I was for a long time but now I'm in my 60's and have healed a lot. You did nothing wrong, your uncle was the adult and knew better. He knew how to manipulate a child!

You deserve all the love and protection the world can offer. God bless you.

Feb 23, 2008

For Laura...
by: Children's & Youth Worker

I'm sorry (as many are) to read that. But here's a few things I wanted to say. From everyone who reads i'm sure. Thank You for saving your sister. You are what people call a HERO. You did something eternally scarring to save someone you loved. So if ever you find it hard, look up and remember. YOU'RE A REAL LIFE HERO. I'm so sorry also that he didn't get convicted. Justice is sometimes slow. But please don't feel dis-heartened. Also, u kno his deep desire so can warn others. Take Care, all the best. Justin

Mar 10, 2008

about your story
by: Anonymous

don't feel bad. When you were a child, you were heroic. You saved your sister from that horrible experience and took the abuse for yourself.
That was self sacrificial. Don't ever feel bad or worthless for being your sister's savior.
I am disgusted at how your mother handled the situation. I hate women who choose men over their own children.
Hell reserves a special place for your scumbag uncle.

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Child Abuse Story From Laura

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Child Abuse Story From Laura