Living a nightmare... by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster
Larissa, I gather by the fact that you are able to share your story that you are no longer living that horrible nightmare. Your father doesn't deserve to be a free man. You certainly deserve to be a free woman.
Your story clearly shows what happens to a child when s/he grows up in an environment where both the child(ren) and one of the parents is abused by the other parent. You heard and saw the abuse of your mother at the brutal hands of your father. When you witnessed this spousal abuse, the message you received was that no one could protect you. After all, if your mother couldn't protect herself, then she would never be able to protect you. This is a form of abandonment; and abandonment in any form leaves a child alone, isolated and feeling rejected. Add to that, the emotional, physical and sexual abuse you were dealing with, it's amazing that you survived it at all. You were helpless to do anything to protect yourself, and you probably felt helpless to protect your mother, even though it wasn't your job to protect anyone. Your "job" was to be a child. Your parents' job was to love and nurture you and to keep you safe from harm. Instead, you were unsafe in their care. Now you must deal with the emotional scars of growing up with such terrible adversity.
Yes, writing can be extraordinarily healing on so many levels, so I applaud that you have taken this route. I also hope you have some type of support system in place, and that you are in some form of counselling to help you over any of the hurdles you find yourself dealing with. And if your father is still alive, I sincerely hope he was found and that he is spending the rest of his days behind bars.
Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me, Larissa. And keep writing.
Darlene Barriere Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir
Apr 14, 2009
You have found a haven to share your story by: Maurice
Larissa 1 reading Darlene's loving words to you, caring words to you, she certainly has your interest at heart in all she writes. Think about all she has said to you, their healing words of encouragement to you. Good on you for writing your feelings to her and all her many visitors who emphatise with you in the abuse you suffered. We nearly all blame ourselves for what happened when were were abused. Larissa 1 we know we could not be at fault when the one who did the carried out the horrific attack on your innocent mond and body was a sad sick human being if one could even call him that. Great your Mother was brave and get him put away to think about his bad acts on you. Please find a friend whom will love you, hug you, care for you, listen to you and soothe you pain memories of that time in your life. Thank you for being so brave to write your story. Darlene's site is a place of beginning the healing process for all of us who have found her site. She sure gives hope when dispair seems to be strong in many of her visitors. Read and listen to her words of comfort to you.
Apr 27, 2009
I was abused by: Larrisa Scaff
i to was abuse and my name is larrisa but spelled with two r's . i was sexually abused at the age of 9 the man would stick his hands all ober me and well he penetrated me to the point where i was numb and i felt lonely. he said you like it oh suck me off and shit but i felt so horrible after what he had done to me and it was a neighbor too at a slumber party til this day i will hunt him down and get him.
Apr 27, 2009
anyone who takes the innocence away from a nine year old does not deserve the name Human. by: maurice
Oh Larissa, you certainly have a right to be as angry as you express in you telling of that man and what he did to you. You are one very strong woman, you deserve oceans of LOVE to be showered on you. I sincerely pray and hope you have a few very intimate and close friends who will do that. Hug you to bits so that you can ease away some of the anger inbuilt in you since that awful episode at nine years. You beautiful gentle, soft skinned body ruined by a sadistic neighbour of yours. He knew what he was doing to you, he does not deserve the name human or even animal in what he did to destroy your innocence. Larissa, Darlene's words to to you take them to heart, this a womans heart for a very special woman (YOU)I have no nieces or nephews but my friends beautiful children to know how awful that man was to you. THere married now all theee beautiful people but when they were your age in order for me to identify some what with child abuse I said to the Mam and Dad id anyone ever laid a hand on their innocent bodies I would personally go after them with you. Ever since Reading and hearing of innocent boys/girls having been abused I just keep asking myself the Question. How could anyone do it. ??? Oh Larissa through the helpful comment of Darlene please begin to LOVE yourself. I'M Special God only made one Me. Created and made me beautiful. Your beautiful both inside and out Larissa build on that FACT. Your a miraculous child of the UNIVERSE.
