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Child Abuse Story From Kimmy

by Kimmy
(Location Undisclosed)

My story is not as extreme as some that I have read. It happened when I was about seven years old. My parents took me to a New Year's party thrown by some relatives of my mom's. I was enjoying myself, playing with all my cousins who I hadn't seen in a while.

As the night progressed people started leaving, but our family remained. My sister and brother fell asleep, but for some reason sleep eluded me. I was roaming around the house for something to do. Everyone was in the kitchen and I was standing in the doorway looking outside. In the adjoining room a stranger, whom I saw my mother talking to just moments earlier, beckoned me to come to him. Being a silly unsuspecting child, I went straight away, of course. He sat down on a long wooden bench and pulled me in front of him. He started asking me questions about school and stuff like that. He held my hands while we spoke, and before I knew what was happening he started touching me. I got really scared, but he kept talking, so I did too. I didn't know how to react. Then something in my head popped and I jerked my hands away and ran back into the kitchen. I saw my mother laughing, oblivious to what had just taken place....

I remember that so clearly in my head. I felt betrayed in so many ways. I went to lie down beside my sleeping siblings, unable to comprehend what had happened. I felt a strong urge to tell someone, so I got up, and the next time I had my mother alone, I told her. I don't know how she handled the situation, but up to this day we never speak about it. It feels like it's my burden to carry and it's my fault it happened. I should have known better...now, trusting people is something I find extremely difficult to do.

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Kimmy" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited, and could result in being banned from making further comments on this site.

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Kimmy

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Sep 05, 2008
No, you SHOULDN'T have known better...you were a child:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Kimmy, what this man did to you was his responsibility to bear, not yours. It wasn't your fault. You will never convince me it was your fault. You will never convince any child abuse survivor reading the stories on this website that it was your fault. You are applying more mature values to the little girl that you were. Of course you were unsuspecting; you were a child. You were NOT silly; you were a child, a child that needed protecting. Should have know better? NO WAY, NOT ON YOUR LIFE. There's a very good reason that children need their parents; they are not physically or emotionally capable of taking care of themselves. You know that on a logical level, but you keep blaming yourself on an emotional level. You keep saying things like "If only I hadn't gone over to this man", "If only I hadn't kept talking to this man," "If only I had screamed so that someone could have come running", "If only I had—or hadn't—(fill in the blank)". You must understand that this molester knew that as a child you were vulnerable. He used those vulnerabilities to keep you with him. This is ALL on him. You have nothing to feel guilt or shame about. NOTHING.

I just wrote comments for another contributor (Story From Anonymous21) dated Sept 5, 2008, titled You have the power... that definitely apply to you as well, Kimmy. Right now, the system that ensures comments go live on my site is experiencing a lengthy time-delay due to recent upgrades, so those comments might not yet appear live, just as there may be a delay in these comments of mine appearing under your story.

If it's at all possible, perhaps you could approach your mother about how you are feeling about what happened to you with this molester. She may not realize that you NEED to talk about it. And even if she's closed minded about the whole incident, don't stop telling. You didn't say how old you are, so I'll take the approach that you are still a minor...talk to someone you trust: a teacher, a counsellor, a church elder, a friend's mother. Help release yourself of this burden, Kimmy. Don't make it a life sentence; that molester isn't worth it. You're the one worthy here. You're the one who deserves to live her life free of the weight of these effects.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

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