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Child Abuse Story From Kathy2

by Kathy
(New York, USA)

I am 26 now and I still get funny feelings in my stomach when it pops into my head. I was very young, maybe 2 or 3 when it happened. My uncle molested me inside my grandmother's house. I was never penetrated but he would rub shampoo on himself and then rub himself between my legs. He tried to get me to perform oral but I refused. He never hit me or was violent in any other way, just sexually. It went on for a little over a year, I think. I finally told my cousin who told my mom. My grandma didn't believe me. I was in therapy for about 2 years and all I remember from that was a cookie after each visit and being able to say every curse word I knew when describing how I felt about him. He was never prosecuted because the police said I was making it up. How could I make up such vivid details at such a young age?

I became promiscuous at around 13, got myself pregnant and had an abortion. Then a year later got pregnant again after suffering from severe depression after the first pregnancy. I had my first child at 16 and am now a mother of 3. I am completely protective of my kids, especially my girls, and I sometimes feel like it's over protective. Then I read the paper and watch the news and see how many kids are harmed each day. I can't understand how someone could hurt a child at all. I get mad at my kids sometimes, as do most parents, but I couldn't imagine hurting them so violently.

I've never really told anyone details, even my fiancé, about my abuse. I think I would feel like he was ashamed of me if I did. He is truly the greatest person I have ever met and I don't think I would be as functional now if it weren't for him. Thank you for letting me tell my story.




Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: I welcome you to follow me on my Facebook page at Healing from Child Abuse. When you get there, don't forget to click onto the Become a Fan link. I hope to hear from you there!

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Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Kathy2

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Nov 09, 2009
Without trust, your relationship won't work for long...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Kathy, thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me. And for goodness sake, you have nothing to feel shame for. If your fiancé loves you—and based on what you wrote, I gather he does love you—he could never feel ashamed of you. You were a little girl, being molested by an adult who absolutely knew better. He was molesting YOU, Kathy. He got HIS sexual gratification from molesting a little girl. That makes him very sick. Other than shame on HIM, who could possibly feel ashamed of the little girl who was the victim! It wasn't your fault, Kathy. It wasn't your fault. If you go into a marriage without complete trust in the person you are about to marry, then your relationship is already in trouble. And if you share what happened to you with your fiancé, and he somehow points the finger of blame in your direction, then you've learned a valuable lesson before ever marrying him. But give him the chance to show you who he really is. Trust above all in any relationship, otherwise it can't work for long.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Nov 10, 2009
empowering words, supporting words, written from the heart
by: maurice

Kathy2 don't go any further than heeding the words writen from the heart by Darlene to you. Having read your story of abuse slowly as I always do each story. When I came to reading Darlene's comment to you I automatically said she sure has your future welbeing at heart. She wrote sincere encourageing words for you to take on board seriously. At three years of age any touching by another other than a mother or father is abuse. That Uncle of yours knew exactly what he was doing knowing you were ever so vunerable not to be able to tell him stop. ever so innocent/scared to tell your Mother or grandmother what he was doing to you. You knew no better at that age. No child does. So heed the caring words of darlene. That is all I will offer you in my care, concern and love for you. Always believe in yourself. Be true to yourself, your fiance who will understand why you have not related it to him up to now. If he truly loves you.

Nov 18, 2009
update
by: kathy

thank you for your kind words of encouragement. i did talk to my fiance about it and it felt so good to let it out. we were laying in bed and i told him something was bothering me. he begged me to let him help me. it took a few minutes but i did. i couldnt look at him while i said it because i didnt want him to see me cry, i felt weak for doing it. but after, i felt good. i had never discussed what happened to me with him other than saying i was molested. he told me if he ever saw the pig, he would seriously hurt, if not kill him, for what he did to me. he was very loving and concerned for me. he held me for the rest of the night and i truly felt safe and like we now absolutely had nothing secret between us anymore. i truly have found the man i am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. we just found a house to raise our family in and are currently under contract. life is going well for me and i think thats all the closure i need now. thank you.

From Darlene: Kathy, I'm delighted by your update! Congratulations on first finding the strength to tell him, and two, for finding the man of your dreams. You trusted him, and he came through for you...I know what's it's like to live in a relationship with that kind of trust; and it does my heart such good to know that you have found that for yourself. I wish you all the very best. Thank you so much for updating my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Nov 23, 2009
You have reached the Mountain Peak going down the other side will be full of love
by: maurice

Kathy 2. The joy you gave me this morning is beyond words. My heart feelings are what I send you the are real with what you've just shared. Darlene Thank You. Your site is empowering because of your comments to each of your visitors. Kathy 2 knows too. from victim to victory she has made the difficult journey. Good on you Kathy 2

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