Child Abuse Story From Kath

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Child Abuse Story From Kath

by Kath
(York, United Kingdom)

My eldest son abused his brother. This is not easy for me because i still love him. He raped his brother, there is no other term for it. He is being punished for what he did and will not be release anytime soon. P-- is still suffering though, counsellors and therapists just are not helping. I fear for him, i love him and i would die for him. What his brother put him through is unthinkable. I still have issues with the details. I love P-- but i am afraid i am losing him.

P-- is quiet and scared, no matter how much i love him he still remains the boy who was abused. He is angry and scared and acts out his anger. Sometimes i have to hug him for hours till he calms down. I need just as much help as P-- does. I have lost one son who i still love. Holidays are here, a change in counsellors maybe. I do not want to lose P--. I will hug him for an eternity if that is what it takes.

Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coach

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Child Abuse Story From Kath

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Jul 01, 2011

Kath:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

Of course you still love your sons. That's what a mother does. You said you would "die" for P--. But would you "live" for him. Because that is most important. I agree that you need as much help as P-- does. Please consider seeking out some form of counselling to help you deal with all the turmoil of what happened to your son, and of the guilt you're feeling. You cannot help your son when you yourself need help first. The best way to help him is to get healthy yourself, and then you can be there as a support for him. Because in the end, Kath, that's all you can be for him: a support. HE has to make the decision to take his power back, the power his brother stole from him. HE has to make the decision about whether or not to allow the process of counselling into his life. HE has to make the decision about whether or not he wants to move forward in his life. You cannot live his life for him. And you cannot always be there with him. But when you're in a healthier place you can help him by example, with supporting love, and by being open to HIS process for healing and recovery, whatever that might look like. Thank you for sharing yours and your sons' story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir

Jul 01, 2011

Support is great, but
by: Tim L.

You can't erase what happened, and it can take a very long time to heal from traumatic situations, so it would be best not to make any demands of him. If the sexual abuse was hidden away for a time(?) perhaps he needs you to recognize the situation and that he was abused right under your nose more than to desire for him to move on and no longer be "the boy who was abused." It's possible that the therapists he's seen haven't gained his trust or just aren't giving him what he needs right now.

Things need to go at his own pace, in his own direction. Darlene is right that you should seek help for yourself so that you can handle his truth and his emotions for what they are.

Jul 06, 2011

Don't Quit: YOU be the winner: Always believe in yourself
by: maurice

Kath: A real mother's pain, A real mother's story Darlene's woman's hearts has spoken to you in her very loving, supporting honest empowering words: Who needs the help more: I do right now: I need some form of help through counselling: I need to clear my head, put what happened between my two lovely boys into perspective: A tradgedy that should never have happened: I have to accept it did: I am not to blame for my older sons actions: He choose to brutally rape his younger brother: He is living with that now in prison: Your younger boy must face up to that reality I was raped; I was abused; I was the innocent and the vunerable: My older brother was wrong: I had no control over what he did: Kath: you are a good mother: the best: if you truly want to help your sons then you will get your own life in order and free your mind of the negative feelings: Put positive thinking in place: I can't live my child's life I can only make the best of living for both of us: Encourage your son to get out and about being active and alive taking part in sporting and cultural activities with young men his own age: Once he starts, you'll know the difference: Re-Assure him your love will always be there for him: You may have to be firm, fair on him show him that you really love him by telling him get on with your life: Try some form of counselling and you will begin to live again and put what your broether did to you into perspectiev: Darlene has given you the means for you to live your life to the full Kath: Some form of counselling will be a start: Be gentle and kind on yourself don't blame yourself: You are a good mother:

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Child Abuse Story From Kath

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Child Abuse Story From Kath