Home
Sitemap
My Blog
Child Abuse Stories
My Story
Child Abuse News
Write a Commentary
The Lighter Side
Awakening
OpenSpace
Statistics
C/A History
Emotional Abuse
Types of E.A.
Signs of E.A.
Effects of E.A.
- Bullying
Stats for E.A.
Physical Abuse
Signs of P.A.
Abuse/Dis'pln
Effects of P.A.
Stats for P.A.
Child Neglect
Signs of C.N.
Effects of C.N.
Stats for C.N.
Poverty & C.N.
Sexual Abuse
Definition S.A.
Signs of S.A.
Effects of S.A.
Stats of S.A.
Sexual Abuse Victims
Male Victims
Female Victims
V w/ Disability
Disclosures
Sex Offenders
Male S.O.
Female S.O.
Child S.O.
Youth S.O.
Incest S.O.
Internet S.O.
Child Abuse Law
Age-Majority
Duty-Report
Intervention
Prevention
Stories of Healing
Exch w/ an Abuser
Visitor Comments
Letters from Readers
Link to this Site
Resources
FREE E-zine
Ask Darlene
Dating Violence
Privacy Policy
Site Search
[?] Subscribe To This Site

XML RSS
Add to Google
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Child Abuse Story From Kanila

by Kanila
(Hawai'i, USA)




I was born in Mexico, My parents divorced when I was around 3, I don't know what happened to my daddy, he never visited me, I lived with my mom.. She got married when I was 'bout 5years old, My step-dad always had a problem with me, he seemed to never like me, well, I always got hit by the belt all the time..but when I was around 6 or 7 years old, I had a friend that lived above my department so I went to her house, her name was let's just say Maria, she was always jealous of me because I had stuff sinse my mom's side had enough money, but her family wasn't really rich, she would always take my stuff and steal stuff from my house..when I was over her house we was playing with toys in her brother's room let's say his name was Marco. Marco was about 14 or 15 years old at that time, he wouldn't let me go back to my house he said I had to let him kiss me before I go back to my house, so I letted him on the cheek, then when I was gonna go he holded me back and said I can't go until I let him kiss me again, but this time he kissed me in the neck and then he started to touch me.. then after a while I knew I had to stand my own ground and just push him away so I did and just ran back to my house... He scared me.. anyways, everywhere I went there was guys giving me weird complements about looking ''sexy'' and stuff, and I never liked that sense of what happened to me before.. later on we moved to USA, I had to learn english sinse spanish was my first language we moved to Hawai'i, it's beautiful and so much different from where I use to live..most people here are kind and stuff like that..anyways,my mom already had a child from my step-dad, and ever sinse I've been nothing to them that's how Ifeel , my step-dad makes me feel bad, he always tells me how my sister is going to be successful and I'm not, just because I don't like playing sports.. I'm not so outgoing because of what happened to me.. but they don't know that.. and when I was in 8th grade about 13 years old, I had a boyfriend named.. let's just say his name was Jason.. well Jason and me broke-up because of drama later on he said if i wanted to cruise with him because he could cruise that day so i was happy because even though we weren't together anymore I still liked hiim and thought he probably would like me still so I went and thats when He forced me to have sex with him.. he raped me.. I didn't want to.. but he made me i was telling him to stop but he never.. and after that i starting cutting myself, and i burned my hand to, i still have it .. for the rest of my life, i also punch myself in the legs and i get bruses, my teachers ask me how i got them so i tell them something but not what has happened to me. Right now I'm going to go to freshman, I'm 14 years old.. and I'm sorry if my story is lame but i felt like I had to get it out off my chest... atm; my parents don't trust me with anything.. not even to hangout with my bf! i have another bf now, one that treats me right though, and I'm happy with him.. but i just don't know what to do.. sometimes I cry to myself, because I also have problems in school with learning, I don't get a lot of things, I feel like a failure at life.





Darlene Barriere: author. speaker. survivor. coachNote from Darlene: If I have not left a comment on your story, please understand that it is not personal; it's just that my hectic schedule no longer permits me to do so.

I hope you'll follow me on:


Email addresses, phone numbers, home addresses AND website/blog URLs in submissions and visitor comments are STRICTLY prohibited. Please don't include them, as they will be removed.

Comments for
Child Abuse Story From Kanila

Click here to add your own comments

Jun 30, 2011
 Kanila:
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

You are NOT a failure. You are smart and articulate and worthy of dignity and respect from everyone in your life, including your mother, stepfather and boyfriends. But dignity and respect must first come from YOU. And while I understand why you cut and bruise yourself, self-harm is another way to disrespect yourself, just the way others have disrespected you. I realize that self-harm is a way to numb the pain inside, but you owe yourself so much more than the lies you've been told by your stepfather and your mother. Yes, your mother too. The fact that she won't stand up and protect you from the man she's with is enabling his abuse of you. The fact that both of them treat your brother better than you is sending you messages of rejection. Don't reject your Self the same way. You ARE worthy, Kanila. But you must first believe that yourself. Please consider contacting Child Help at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) in order to talk to someone about the abuse you are still dealing with and your feelings. They are staffed 24/7 with professionally trained counsellors who will listen to you. They are not a reporting agency, although they can help you through the process of reporting if you decide to disclose the abuse. It's your choice, but you do need to disclose the abuse. Visit their website by copying & pasting the following URL into your browser: http://www.childhelp.org/get_help

As for being raped, this was a sexual assault, and it needs to be treated as such. Please consider reporting what this boy did to you. He has likely raped others, and will likely continue to rape others. At the very least, talk to someone about what happened. And always know that what happened to you was not your fault. Fault is always on the shoulders of the offender because the offender chooses to offend. Same goes for child abusers. And just for the record, your story was not "lame". Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Darlene Barriere
Webmaster: www.child-abuse-effects.com
author. speaker. survivor. coach
From Victim to Victory, a memoir
Jun 30, 2011
 Kanila...
by: Anonymous

I can't believe that your mom would abandon you to the so-called care of that sick excuse of a stepdad and allow him to beat and berate you 24/7...how dare she! Shame on her for running away from you instead of protecting you from that sicko as well as your other abusers! Her job is to protect you and she failed you miserably. If your stepdad didn't want to be there, then he should've had the courage to give you up for adoption instead of abusing you. The path that he, your mom and even your so-called friends (yes, the ones who are more like bullies than actual friends) chose was and still is inexcusable. You are not to blame; they are to blame because abusers always choose to abuse. You were the child; they were the adults; they had all the power and only misused it over you, so please tell someone you really trust and keep telling until he/she will finally listen to you and help you.
Jul 01, 2011
 be brave: Be Strong: Love your beautiful Self
by: maurice

Kanila: please oh please read Darlene's words to you in her personal comment to you and you alone: You are one very special, bright intelligent child of God and the Universe: You must believe that: You must build up your self WORTH/ESTEEM: Your spirit was broken by all the abuse you had to endure at the hands of Men who molested you, hurt you, raped you, Step Fathers, you sure got a bad one a beast and tyrant: Your Mother enabled him to humiliate/degrade you make you feel inferior to you step siblings: She was (is) not a good mother: Darlene has spoken from her heart, try and put into practise her advice, words of love, encouragement, support, affirmation: Stay in education do your best just for you: You'll be a winner, ALWAYS BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: Kanila say I WILL: I CAN: I MUST: BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT; I'M SPECIAL AND I LOVE ME: BE GENTLE AND KIND ON YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY: VALUE AND RESPECT YOUR OWN SELF WORTH: YOU ARE A POSITIVE THINKER ABOUT YOUR SAFETY AND WHAT IS PROPER AND WHAT IS NOT: HAVE A FEMALE FRIEND YOUR OWN AGE AS A FRIEND MAY A FEW FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU WILL ALL WATCH OUT FOR EACH OTHER THEN: I know you are not too interested in taking part in sport: Kanila I would encourage you to think about taking part in some form of sport especially team games: I know it will benefit you greatly: Give you a greater sense of yourself, your giftedness, your tallents, YES I sure would say you have leadership qualties that you are hiding: Have a healthy mind in a healthy body: Be a winner over your abusers and all who ridiculed you: My motto I WILL: I CAN: I MUST BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT:

Click here to add your own comments