Child Abuse Story From Kaitlyn A

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Child Abuse Story From Kaitlyn A

by Kaitlyn A
(Loveland, Colorado, USA)

Confessions of Self Injury:
It started after the whole blow out with me being raped as a child. It tore my life apart and made me hate myself as a person. It made me feel like I was nothing but a sex toy. It kills me every night when I sleep. I have flashbacks and what not.

When I was 12, I had heard of people...my friends, more to say, hurt themselves to get rid of the pain...so I wanted to see if it actually would help me any.

That night I went home. No one suspected a thing. My mom left for work, and after I laid my little sister down for bed, I went into the bathroom and turned on the water. After I undressed and what not, I got into the tub. I kinda stared at the razor, thinking if anyone would ever suspect a thing. I wasn't prepared for the consequences I was about to receive...I never thought that far ahead. I did pick up the razor and I did cut my wrist. The blood scared me at first...then it kinda excited me...call me morbid, I don't care. I don't listen to judgemental people anyways.

About 5-6 months later, I actually confessed that I cut myself. I was stupid to do that. I had told someone that was my mom's friend instead of telling my boyfriend. He told me he wouldn't tell. Then what does he do? He tells my mom everything. I was so pissed off beyond that point. I didn't self-injure myself till I got to Colorado. My mom's friend was such a dickhead to me. I was unreal. He called me an idiot and told me that I need to make my life worth something and that I needed to stop hiding behind humor when I wasn't. He said he wanted to be my friend. I rolled my eyes to that because he wanted me to talk to him first, before I talked to anyone about hurting myself, and then he gave me this lecture about how me and him are alike. I just brushed it off because he wants me to talk to him, but yet he talks to me like I am stupid and not worth anything. Then all my problems started up again...guess it's my life, eh?

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Child Abuse Story From Kaitlyn A

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Oct 20, 2007

He had a duty NOT to keep the secret
by: Darlene Barriere

While I don't condone the fact that this person you told called you an idiot and made you feel worthless—you're NOT worthless—he couldn't keep that secret, Kaitlyn. I know you feel betrayed by him for this, but when someone is cutting themselves, it is EVERYBODY'S responsibility to tell. What he should have done was tell you outright that he couldn't keep the secret; he should never have promised to keep it. He should have kept talking to you in a supportive way, not a demeaning way. You told him for a reason. You must have trusted him at some point. I also think you wanted help. He should have helped you find that help.

I do understand why you cut yourself, Kaitlyn; it numbs, then takes away the emotional pain, the unbearable emotional pain. You need help with this. This isn't something you can work out on your own. I strongly urge you to contact a local crisis agency. Cutting yourself isn't the answer.

Oct 20, 2007

I Feel You
by: Francine

Kaitlyn A, I'm so sorry about what you had to go through! I cut myself, too, whenever I get abused and/or depressed, but I've been told not to do that anymore thousands of times. And as for someone who acted like he was your mom's friend, whatever he said/did to you is wrong! And no, it's not your life! Your life is when you have someone who deeply cares about you, not bully you! And no way, you are not stupid nor worthless! You are not an idiot! You are a beautiful, smart person; don't ever let anyone think otherwise! The only stupidity that I see comes from your mom's so called friend. I think you might want to try some counselling.

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Child Abuse Story From Kaitlyn A

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Child Abuse Story From Kaitlyn A