Child Abuse Story From Jew
by Jew
(Indiana, USA)
A strong woman:
My dad left when i was a baby..i dont even know if he seen me..my mom says we (she and I) were extremely close when i was little. i remember my brothers and sisyer always complained i was her favorite. she bounced from husband to husband. the first of my lifetime was S---..he hit me and she divorced him. the second i remember is J--..i was about 5..i cant really remember..i know where we lived and everything else..but not my age..i was young..he would treat me special..buy me things and take me places..we moved in woth his grandparents..they were always nice and loving to us all. J-- would ask me to the basement where he practiced in his band..after practice he would make me touch him orally then he would make me prance around half naked and say i was modeling..which i thought was great..he asked me if i wanted a baby when i was about 6..what little girl doesnt wanna be a mommy..? he tried to penatrate me..it hurt amd he stopped. i told my mom during all of this that J-- made me suck his d**k..exact words. i remember that day amd her reaction..she laughed..i must of picked up that language from my older brothers..my sister spoke up and said J-- asked her to do the same a few years later..mom questioned me amd i denied it. not sure why..by then they were having problems and he was cheating on mom..thats why they divorced. i told mom when i was 13 or 14..she put me in counseling. By then I didnt like my mom. I hated that she always had to have a man. Anything I ever told her she would then say happened to her..I was molested..so was she by some stranger. I miscarried..so did she. she married another man named D--- around the same time all this came out. He knew my history..it took him maybe 6 months. He took me and my step brother out and let us drink. He said I could sleep in his bed since it was crowded in the house. We had 6 kids and 3 bedrooms..I woke up to him giving me oral..I cried. He said it was a mistake and would never happen again amd he wasnt a child molester...haha. he did it again..he would rub my back and snuck back in my room later. Mom asked me if aomething was wrong after about a month. I broke down crying..I told. We left that night. I felt relief that she believed me..it took me running away everyday for 2 weeks for her to notice but she noticed..kept coming around..they still talked so I kept running away. The police stepped in amd named me a habitual runaway and sent me to a home. I liked it there. I went to court and on the last appearance my mom said that it was canceled and never took me..he got away with it. I went thru polygraphs and questions and he walked. I remember feeling like my mom was jealous of me. She didn't expect me to get good grades..though I did..she.didn't care to let me party at 15..my older sister said she was too lenient on me. I don't think she cared. At that point I felt she thought of me as competition. She wanted me to ruin my life. She started asking for grandbabies from me when I was 16..she didn't hit me often..but I remeber a few smacks and switches and she busted my lip and blacked my eye the final time..I told my sister..she was mad..we called the cops..but since i told them I egged the argument on..they let it slide. Which was fine. I stayed with my sister for a few months. Finished high school with mom graduated a semester early and moved out with my bf. We got married..and divorced. I went back home and tried to save money as I found out I was pregnant and wanted to live on my own..mom got mad and kicked me out when I told her about a tailor I was gonna buy. I stayed with my granny. Saved money and was on my own within a month. I am now 30 with 4 kids and 2 step kids. Married. I never told what happened to me. Never details. Juat said i had been touched..or I've been molested. Nothing more. I'm paranoid about my kids. I always watch and I analyze. My oldest is 10 and I have asked her a few times if she has ever felt uncomfortable..last night I asked her if anyone had touched her privates or made her touch them..and asked her if it ever happened to please tell me no matter what. J---'s grandpa would pay me for kisses when I was little amd living there..to this day I feel like a whore..he never violated me. the only thing that ever made me uncomfortable was when my hands were cold and he told me to put them between my legs..I looked at him funny he showed me how..by putting them in between his legs. Not sure how I feel aboit that even now..
That's my story..my mom and I are fighting about her attitude and all the hate she has in her heart that I refuse to involve myself in. I have never seen her exes and think i would go psycho if I did..I feel like I have moved on..but some things linger..I feel like i could forgive some days..and then realize i can't. Not them. I tried getting close to my mom..and she brings me down..verbally. or she wants me to hate who she hates..I can't change the past..but I can control the future amd look for signs from my kids maybe preventing it from happening to them.
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