Child Abuse Story From Jensel

by Jenny
(San Diego, USA)

I remember when I was 11, my mom would pinch and slap me like she does now. She would almost always speak to me in a mad and irritated tone that I always thought she hated me. She didn't even care if I cried, and would yell at me, demanding why I was crying. I never remembered her soothing me, drying my tears, or even apologizing. When I got my test results, she said horrible remarks instead of comforting me, saying my results was utterly disgusting and embarrassing, making me feel like she didn't care about me and thinks I should do better. Of course I should do better but that doesn't mean she can insult my grades. I've already forgiven her lots of times during my life in the Philippines. But now, I'm sick and tired of it. She doesn't care about my feelings but for her own. I understand she's stress, and mostly she'd take it out on my sister and I threatening to send us back to the Philippines where she can show me 'proper discipline' without getting in trouble. Because it's normal for a child to get kicked, punched, pinched, and slapped there.

Now that I'm a year older, things hadn't changed at all. She says that things would be better if I went back, so she didn't have to care about anything but her work. I don't know why she makes a big deal about me not buying school lunch even though I'm not hungry. She even said she'll stop buying me clothes and she refused to buy me new shoes even though I only have one pair that I've been using for over a year. I felt she didn't care about me at all. I was mostly emotionally abused because of the things she said. It's almost like she's saying she should have never had children in the first place. I was just being myself, although I spend my time on the computer reading about facts and other interesting things.

And before my uncle went back to the Philippines, I thought he was sexually molesting me because he'd put his hand on my thigh and would use his backhand to feel my breast. I was afraid to say anything, afraid he'd yell at me. He would always try to touch my butt making me feel extremely uncomfortable around him. I didn't want to tell anyone about it because I thought it was embarrassing. I hope that everything will change soon and that my mom would show at least a bit of appreciation on what I do.

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