Child Abuse Story From Jenny Part 1

by Jenny
(Missouri, USA)

I have held these memories in for my entire life until tonight. I am 30 years old, and I'm not really sure how old I was when this happened, but I remember it very clearly.

My step-grandfather sexually abused my sisters and I, as well as our mother and our little cousin. Jim, (the step-grandfather), has always been around as long as I can remember. My grandma and grandpa divorced before I was born. The first time I can remember was when we had spent the night with Grandma and Jim. I think I must have been around 4 or 5. I remember my oldest sister telling my mom that Jim had touched all of us while Mom and Grandma were sleeping. I can still smell his cigars. Even writing this, I feel nauseated.

The vivid memory I have was when I was 11 or 12. Grandma and Jim had come to our house for a visit, and my bedroom was in the middle of the house...between the living room and kitchen. In order to get to the kitchen or living room, you had to walk through my room. I didn't have a door on it because it was actually a dining room that my parents had turned into a bedroom (the house was very small). Jim always had an enormous key chain on his belt buckle, and this night it's what kept me from being raped. Everyone was in bed except him. I was in my bed and Jim was in the living room, watching tv. I heard the tv go off and heard the keys rattling. He walked through my room to the kitchen. I heard the sink turn on, then off. Then, the keys again. It got louder and louder, then stopped...right next to my bed. I heard him breathe. He started rubbing my legs and I froze! I didn't know what to do!!! I wanted to scream for my mom and dad who had just gone to bed, but I couldn't! I started moving my legs around trying to get him to stop...and it worked. He walked back to the living room and into the bedroom he was staying in with my grandma. As soon as I knew he was in the room, I ran as fast as I could to my parents' room and told them what happened. I slept with my parents that night. The next morning, I woke up to find my grandma and mom talking about it. My grandma told me that "he was probably just checking to see if you were ok." I knew better and so did my mom.

Later, I would be told from my mom that he had sexually abused her for years and my grandma always called her a liar. He also abused my little cousin. She is several years younger than me. One night she was spending the night with me and I told her about Jim. She lived with my grandma and Jim, (her parents are on drugs to this day), and she told me of the abuse she had suffered. She told me that Jim had come into her room when Grandma was gone working midnights. She said that he kept the lights off, but he held a lighter up to her privates so he could see what he was doing. She told me she thought he was going to burn her.

To this day, my grandma is still in denial. She still lives with Jim. Jim is now on his death bed with cancer. I don't hate him. I actually forgive him, even though he's never apologized or admitted anything. He will meet his maker one day and answer for all the damage he's done.

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