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Child Abuse Story From Jennifer2

by Jennifer
(New York, USA)




RAGE: 
I was emotionally and psychologically abused from a very young age. From as far back as I can remember, my father would take out his rage and anger on me. He would get in my face and scream, scream at me for hours, call me names. He constantly told me that I wasn't good enough, I was fat, I was dumb, I was a liar, I was lazy. Then he would apologize, and I was supposed to say "It's ok". He would scream at my mother. We would have to lock ourselves in the bedroom time and time again while he went on screaming cursing rampages that lasted for hours–throwing things, breaking things around our house. And he was controlling, keeping me isolated from other kids and other people. I was always scared and always angry. And today he expects me to forget about it–like it never happened. BUT IT DID HAPPEN AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE CHANGED!

Darlene's comments to this "Child Abuse Story From Jennifer2" can be found at Comments below this submission. Depending on system activity, there are sometimes delays in comments going live on my site; but rest assured, they do eventually appear. So if you don't yet see them, I hope you will return later to read what I, and possibly others, have written. I thank you for your patience and understanding.

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Child Abuse Story From Jennifer2

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Dec 03, 2008
The rage WILL overtake you...
by: Darlene Barriere - Webmaster

I can certainly feel your rage, Jennifer, rage that you've earned. Yes, I believe you have to allow yourself to feel that rage...but holding onto the hostility indefinitely will harm you. It will manifest in virtually every area of your life, if it hasn't already. You may find yourself seeking out comfort in your own rages, in food, drugs, alcohol, or even in self-harming. You may find it difficult at home and at work. You may find your intimate and interpersonal relationships are either non-existent or suffering. You may even find yourself depressed, withdrawn and possibly dealing with physical symptoms of distress and despair. There are a whole host of effects that you may be experiencing right now.

I urge you to seek out some form of counselling in order to help you deal with this rage, Jennifer. You're worth so much more than allowing your father to continue controlling who and what you are. And that's exactly what happens when you forever embrace the deep-seeded rage he caused with his emotional abuse. Don't allow what he did in your past to continue to be the power in your life in the present. You ARE good enough. The messages he sent you were lies. Don't keep believing them, because they came from a man who was obviously unbalanced. This isn't about him, Jennifer, it's about you. Take care of yourself better than anyone ever has.

Thank you for sharing your story with my visitors and me.

Darlene Barriere
Violence & Abuse Prevention Educator
Author: On My Own Terms, A Memoir

Dec 08, 2008
You don't have to forgive
by: Justine

Jennifer, you do not have to forget and forgive, but you also don't have to hold onto all that pain. As Darleen said the anger and hostilities only hurt you further and may also effect your loved ones. You have endured enough and it now time for a change. Do not do it for him as he doesn't deserve it, do it for yourself because you do deserve to be a peace.

Take care

Dec 17, 2008
I know how you feel
by: Chrissy

Hi Jennifer, I am a 15 year old girl. I have grown up in a similar environment and only realized it was emotional abuse when I wondered why I am so pyschologically different from others my age. After doing research I realized that the characteristics of my household that I thought were "normal" and that everyone's house was like this were in fact abuse. My reaction at first was shock and denial but I now have an explanation of why I have a ridiculous need for perfection, an addiction to self injury (which I am in the process of getting over), and why I have a difficult time trusting people.
I was and sometimes still is the subject of my father's moods and he always acts like I should just forget about every time he hit me or my sister; forget about every name he has called me, how he blames me when anything goes wrong, and how he has put me down for the greater part of my life. Sometimes minutes after he has gone on one of his rampages and apologizes I tell him what he said to me and you know what he does? He says "I never said that. What are you talking about?" Some nerve to deny it practically seconds after it came out of his mouth.
Good for you that you have enough courage to write about your experience! I wish you and anyone else who reads this and has been abused all the best.

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